“Like a lotus flower growing from the mud and blooming towards the sky, I rise up from the pain of my past healed and reborn.”
Vilina Christoph was conceived at a time when I was struggling with crippling conditions like depression, anxiety and panic attacks. My sister had died earlier that year, a few years after the death of our mother, and grief and sadness were pervading my life.
At this climactic time the wiser part of me knew this was an “invitation” to examine my life. I recognised this was my wake up call and I was being called on a journey. Thus, my “dark night for the soul”, heroine’s journey began.
After years of untangling the narrative of my story I reached the root of my pain. As in many cases, I found the answers to many questions in my early formative years as a child. Although I have repressed most of the memories of my childhood, when I stumbled upon the term narcissism, I found the missing piece of the puzzle. I realised that my late mother was a (covert) narcissist and I’ve suffered emotional abuse and neglect, among the physical abuse I remembered. Since the abuse started in the yearly years of my life and was happening routinely, the trauma and the effects of it are deeply ingrained in my psyche. Much of my healthy development was hindered and coping mechanisms took over.
My journey as of today is understanding the aftermath of complex trauma (C-PTSD) and healing from it.
With this blog my hope is to inspire and encourage YOU to embark on YOUR journey of examining your life, healing and rediscovering yourself. If any of the above mentioned rings a bell for you, do not lose hope and know you are not alone.
Healing and recovery from trauma and abuse is indeed possible for all of us. By walking this path myself – of dying and being reborn, of falling and rising stronger, of coming up from the mud of my pain and blossoming into my true authentic self – I can assure you that you can do it too.
You can decide now to commit to the process of change and growth with no fear. You can transmute the pain of your past and find meaning and purpose in your life. You can be awaken to your true power and passion. You can heal!
You are no longer a victim and you are responsible for your life – take ownership of your thoughts, beliefs, feelings, actions and behaviours. Here you will find support and a safe place to be yourself just as you are. I can understand your pain and will hold a space for your process.
You, your story and your voice matter!
The journey may be long and lonely but it is a blessed adventure. The road may be treacherous but you are not alone. As you befriend your darkness, integrate your wounds and transform your pain, you expand and grow – you become yourself.
If this inspires you to take the path of self-discovery and healing, I will be honoured to walk side by side with you!