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VILINA CHRISTOPH

A Woman's Story of Healing & Empowerment

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  • A turning point in my journey image
    Trauma & Healing

    A turning point on my healing journey – experiencing an emotional flashback and remembering my past

    A few days ago I had my most intense emotional flashback. Now, if you don’t know what is an emotional flashback or what it feels like, you’re not alone. For sure, I’ve read about them in my research on childhood trauma and Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) but I haven’t experienced one. Or at least I didn’t know at the time. An emotional flashback is an intense emotional reaction, many describe it as a sort of flooding of emotion, usually as a result of a trigger – an event, a situation, it could be something someone says, and how that makes you feel. Triggers could be many and they…

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    The four steps of personal transformation

    30th January 2017
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    “Look how far you’ve come!”

    21st October 2016
    You Are Not Alone Image

    You’re not alone in your pain

    25th September 2017
  • Letting go never goes out of fashion image
    Trauma & Healing

    Letting go (of what no longer serves us) never goes out of fashion

    New year, new me? Well, there is no need for a new me every new year if you’re OK with yourself and feel enough as you are. But certainly, there are situations, relationships, even people that need to be let go of. More accurately – it’s the type of relationships I’m having with certain people, or even more accurately – the expectations I have from them. I’m going through an “interesting” process – as I’m healing my childhood trauma more and more, I realise the triggers and traps I fall into more and more. As early childhood trauma is an attachment trauma in its essence, it’s a relational trauma too. That…

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    The Wonder List June Image

    The Wonder List: Goal, Gratitude, Inspiration & Affirmation for the Month of June

    5th June 2019
    The Wonder List April Image

    The Wonder List: Goal, Gratitude, Inspiration & Affirmation for the Month of April

    3rd April 2019
    Embracing minimalism image

    The beginning of a new journey: embracing minimalism

    28th January 2016
  • I am the person I am because of my trauma image
    Trauma & Healing

    I am the person I am today because of my trauma, not despite it

    My biggest battle is accepting my childhood trauma and the effects it has had and continues to have on my life and its overall quality. More accurately, I struggle the most with accepting that because of my posttraumatic stress responses, my role as a mother has been impaired. As a victim of childhood abuse and trauma, I am especially sensitive towards the fact that because of my own “condition” my child is suffering too.  I can easily go down the spiral of blaming myself for not being the mother I wish I could be, for the things I have done or haven’t done because I wasn’t well myself. Because I am…

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    You Deserve Your Love Image

    You deserve your love

    14th August 2017
    Moon Phases Image

    Working with the moon, its energy and phases

    19th March 2018
    Taking the first steps image

    Taking the first steps

    6th February 2016
  • How my son starting school is helping me heal trauma image
    Trauma & Healing

    How my son starting school is helping me heal trauma

    For the last more than three months now I’ve been through a whirlwind of a storm. I’ve never thought that my son staring school will bring so much up. More and more I realise how isolated I’ve been and how much I’ve lost contact with the outside world. More accurately, I’ve suspected that but the clash of reentering seems to be taking me much more effort and costing me much more energy than I’ve ever imagined. I know there are many reasons for this – I am and always have been a very sensitive person and being away from work for 8 years now has put me in a very…

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    Working with the moon, its energy and phases

    19th March 2018
    Life's Challenges Image

    Life and life’s challenges

    17th July 2017
    Coming Out Of The Mud Image

    Coming out from the mud and continuing onward

    16th October 2017
  • Childhood Emotional Neglect Image
    Trauma & Healing

    Childhood emotional neglect – the hidden root of my pain

    I just had my second EMDR therapy session. In EMDR we focus on a particular memory from our life – usually a traumatic one. I was working with an image of me when I was a child and my mother who was particularly unresponsive to my needs. Just to remind you, at the beginning of therapy my therapist confirmed that I was emotionally deprived/neglected as a child. Since then I read the book Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect by Dr Jonice Webb which further helped me understand my “diagnosis”. The book very well explains what emotional neglect is – it’s not about what happened but about what…

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    Why Holding Space is so Important Image

    Why holding space is so important in relationships

    11th October 2016
    A Strange Day Image

    A strange day… in a beautiful and vulnerable way

    7th March 2017
    Dari Frampton Interview Image

    Interview with Dari Frampton: A woman on a journey of transformation, healing & discovering her true self

    24th May 2019
  • My Pain is My Power Image
    Trauma & Healing

    My Pain is My Power

    Two weeks ago I started seeing a therapist. During the two times we met, we talked and went over the details of my past. We started with memories from my childhood and moved towards the more recent past. We made a plan – a timeline of particularly traumatic experiences and we’re going to work with each memory and event separately. I haven’t had the opportunity to talk freely about my past and everything that has happened so far. I had a brief experience of therapy back in Ireland right after my sister died but at the time, I had no idea of the magnitude of traumatic stress I was experiencing.…

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    Motherhood and enjoying the present moment

    2nd October 2017
    New Beginnings 2.0 Image

    New Beginnings 2.0

    19th December 2016
    Why Holding Space is so Important Image

    Why holding space is so important in relationships

    11th October 2016
  • "If I only could make them happy" Image
    Trauma & Healing

    “If I only could make them happy…”

    My inner journey of healing and discovery is reaching a turning point. For the past 5 years, I’ve been digging and going deeper and more inward like it was my job. And it was my full-time job – I’ve taken this task of nurturing self-understanding and awareness so seriously, it became my primary focus and priority. Layer by layer, I’ve been stripping old programmes, paradigms, and conditioning. I was determined to get to the core of things, to the root of all pain and ailments, emotional and psychological. Last year in September, I stumbled upon one piece of the puzzle – my mother had suffered from a mental condition and…

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    How Relationships Help us Heal and Transform Image

    How relationships help us heal and transform

    8th October 2016
    Autumn and the renewal of the soul image

    Autumn and the renewal of the soul: on priorities, anxiety and social media

    11th November 2015
    On the Brink of Dawn Image

    On the brink of dawn

    4th January 2018
  • How my recent job rejection helped me heal and love myself image
    Trauma & Healing

    How my recent job rejection helped me heal and love myself

    Last Monday I applied for a job position as a writer. It’s been many years since I worked as an employee and I’ve experienced a fair bit of disappointments on the professional front. But I thought all this was behind me now and since the opportunity was ticking my boxes and I met the requirements, I went for it with my best intentions. The hiring company was the online publication Bright Side and they wanted me to pass a test. After a couple of days of communicating with the HR, a broken link, and a slight delay, I got to the challenge. I didn’t pass it. But let me start from…

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    Rewriting My Story Image

    Rewriting my story in a radical self-forgiveness context

    25th May 2016
    Finding Your Authentic Blend Image

    Finding your authentic blend of expression

    13th June 2018
    Difficult Feelings Image

    How to work with difficult feelings

    20th March 2017
  • An unexpected healing experience during the holiday season image
    Trauma & Healing

    An unexpected healing experience during the holiday season

    I am writing this on 31 December 2018 and so far this holiday season has proven unexpected. For first time ever my partner, son and I got to stay at home for the holidays. No travelling, no other people’s traditions or expectations – we put the start and foundation of our family tradition. This is something I’ve longed for for a very long time. I’ve never had a strong family of my own and I barely have any memories of our time together, if there was any “togetherness” at all. Having my own family has always been like a guiding star for me – something I’ve always, even subconsciously, strived for.…

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    Forgiveness Letter Image

    Forgiveness letter to myself

    11th April 2017
    A new breath of life image

    A new breath of life

    21st January 2016
    Web Wonderland 7 Image

    Web Wonderland No.7: Back from holidays, stand-up-real-talk comedy, and unleashing our women’s power

    15th July 2018
  • How childhood trauma robs away your power image
    Trauma & Healing

    How childhood trauma robs your power away and how to take it back

    This summer I spent about a month at my father’s house with my son. It wasn’t our first time and, as I’d expected, it was tumultuous. A part of me knew it was time to stand up to some of the dysfunction in my family of origin and confront it. I could only hope that this experience was going to bring me some resolutions and it would prove empowering. And it did. For the first week or so the usual, generations-old, themes of guilt and shame, insecurity and inadequacy were saturating the air until it came to a boil. There were tears and screaming, anger and pain – suppressed emotions and…

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    Acceptance: the path to change

    5th February 2018
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    The four steps of personal transformation

    30th January 2017
    Cutting Through Clouds and Fear Image

    Cutting through clouds and fear

    17th October 2016
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Vilina Christoph Headshot Image

Hello & Welcome

I am Vilina Christoph and I write about my journey of healing and recovery from childhood trauma and abuse. I use words to transmute the pain and adversity into fuel for growth and empowerment. I believe we have the power to heal ourselves and transform our lives from within. I am passionate about helping women heal, grow and feel empowered to build and live a full authentic life.

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  • The Empowered Women Series
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  • Web Wonderland
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