The migraine started one day before the first eclipse on October 25th – a solar eclipse in Scorpio, which is where the south lunar node is located at the moment and where my natal south node also is. Without going into details, the lunar nodes are an important part of one’s astrological birth chart. Very generally speaking, the south node indicates where we feel comfortable and is connected with our past and the north node is where our soul wants to progress and grow, and that usually feels unfamiliar and scary. The lunar nodes are positioned on an axis and now the south node is in Scorpio and the north node is in Taurus – just like the eclipses this season.
The migraine started on Monday night and by noon on the next day, eclipse day, it had turned into dizziness, nausea, body ache and overwhelming tiredness. It wasn’t until Friday that I started feeling better again. I had to take a few days off work, I talked to a close friend which gave me the support I needed, had a few walks in the nearby park and listened to multiple talks and guided meditations. That’s all it took for me to get back to normal!
It felt excruciating but with the discomfort, many insights flooded in as well – the major one of them was feeling a dedication towards writing. I wrote a lot in the meantime and one thing was certain for me – that I want to dedicate myself to writing. Not that I haven’t been dedicated but this time it felt like making a full commitment, like accepting this to be “my thing”. Like no more fooling around and feeling uncertain – this is my thing. Writing is my thing. No matter the form or shape of it, no matter if someone reads it or not, or who reads it, I will write no matter what. I also realised that I actually haven’t stopped writing since I was 13/14 years old, back in the distant 1990s.
Things were starting to feel positive again but soon the second eclipse came around – this time a lunar eclipse in Taurus, near my north lunar node. This eclipse brought us covid – the first one to get sick was my partner, then me, then our son. I’m still on the mend after 8 days – the symptoms have been mild enough but it just seems to be dragging with a minuscule improvement each day. It’s been really nasty because the incubation period seems to take time as well. I got sick 5-6 days after my partner, thinking at first that I’ll get away with it. Then that happened to our son – he got sick 5-6 days after me, just when we were about to send him back to school after his quarantine as a contact person finished. On the day he was supposed to go to school, he got a high fever. He’s also on the mend now and luckily his symptoms have been the mildest, compared to us adults.
So all in all it’s been more than 10 days since my partner got sick and more than 3 weeks since all of it began, since the beginning of the eclipse season. And because of the quality of the time, not only the body was affected by the sickness but also the mind and the psyche. With the start of the sickness, dark thoughts were taking over and all I could do was observe them and wait for them to pass. Sleep wasn’t helping either – in fact, the darkness of the night seemed to intensify worries, doubts and anxieties. The turning of the seasons didn’t prove helpful too – the sunny and warm Indian summer we had in October turned into a wet, cold and grey November.
It was like the whole Universe had conspired to have this dark passage of the soul.
And I knew that there wasn’t anything to be done. All we can do in such times is wait and hope it will soon go and hopefully when it’s passed, there will be some insight into what it was all about.
A couple of days ago, a flicker of light became merely visible in the proverbial tunnel. The light does return, the bodies do repair, and the thoughts do brighten up. What incredible creatures we are! As soon as we start feeling better again, we return to life – we become enlivened! We start getting excited about things – we’ll grab onto anything to feel alive and not wallow in darkness and despair! It’s what keeps us human beings going – our incredible spirits that always find back the light even in the darkest moments in time.
Maybe this was all that this was about – a reassurance that even when all seems dark and hopeless, light is always there, we just need to find our way back to it. Or even more accurately – we just need to wait for the clouds to part and for the light to shine upon us. We need to surrender and wait in stillness. We’re not lost, we’re just in a need of some contrast in order to see more clearly, more fully, more deeply. And hopefully remind ourselves to love and appreciate life, ourselves and our close ones even more.2