Acceptance: the path to change
“If you want to see change in your life, accept it as it is.” Lately, I find myself wanting yet another change in my life. I live in a city. About an year ago my family and I moved to Sofia, Bulgaria. It happens to be one of the most polluted capitals in Europe. I’ve started feeling the dust and the dirt of the city polluting my own life and state of mind. I find myself wanting to move again. I want to go far from the smog, the noise, the cruelty, and the trickery. Our family has suffered a few blows on our property, we’ve been stolen from, and…
A powerful start to a new year
Last week Thursday was 11/1 (or 1/11) of year 2018 – an 11 year. That is a great deal of Number 1 in a row – an unusual occurrence and a very powerful numerology! The symbolism of the Number 1 is one of new beginnings, creation, independence, uniqueness, motivation, striving forward and progress, ambition and will power, positivity and positiveness. Number 1 also resonates with the energies of pioneering, raw energy, force, activity, self-leadership and assertiveness, initiative, instinct and intuition. For many this is the true beginning of the year. If you are like me and for the first ten days or so you didn’t quite feel the full arrival of…
Waving goodbye to the past
I feel the last few years are catching up with me. Many feelings are coming up to the surface for first time to be illuminated. Things I realise for a first time ever. Things sometimes too grave. My life for the past 4 years has been grave in many ways. Not only, of course, but mostly. I realise now that as soon as my relationship with my partner began, it was stifled almost in the bud. Uninvited visitors, like death, grief, anxiety, came along and didn’t leave much of a space for us to breathe as a new family. My love for my partner was suffocated. My love for my…
On the brink of dawn
As we enter into 2018, I cannot quite get myself into thinking about resolutions, setting intentions or goals. I cannot even summon my mind to reflect back on the year 2017. I feel somewhere in between, not quite ready to let go of the old year and not quite there to welcome the new one. Perhaps this is natural, for some of us. Just as I try and think about what the past year has brought my way, I almost freeze. It’s been so much, there’s been so many lessons, too many experiences and feelings. I don’t know if I can summarise all of it in one post, one sentence,…
Sacred Mothering: how to be a soulful mother on a spiritual path
For a long time I’ve lived two separate lives – a life of an unfolding spiritual journey and purpose and a life as an everyday mother, partner and housewife. The first one happens mostly within me and I get to share it here with you, my readers and online friends, but I don’t express much outwardly in my day-to-day doings. The second life happens in the hours when I’m not working on myself or writing down my discoveries and realisations – it happens when I pick up my son from kindergarten and we spend the afternoons together outside or at home. Those two lives sometimes clash with each other and…
Coming out from the mud and continuing onward
I am grateful for where I am on my journey. I am grateful for the mud I had to come through. I am grateful for the waters that held me while I was rising up. I am grateful for the air that touched my skin upon my resurfacing. I am grateful for the roots that kept me in place. I am grateful for the process, for the journey, for the experience, for my life. On 15th October it was 7 years since the death of my mother. Here’s what I wrote: I was only 26 at the time. I remember trying to rationalise and intellectualise the shock of her…
The anatomy of desire and manifesting
Two weeks ago I had an epiphany moment. It was a moment of full blown joy. I felt happy all the way through from the depths of my soul. It was a moment on my journey in which I felt I’ve passed some rite of passage and have shifted energies and moved forward on my path. It is an indescribable feeling and something I’ve never experienced before – it could probably be best described by the word BLISS. A couple of days later my dad came to visit and we shared a day of warmness and closeness. Then he had to go and even though we’ve said temporary “goodbyes” to…
Happy where I am
I will make a confession to you: I’ve never been happier in my life. As I write this I can feel the tears pushing to come through. But these are happy tears. These are the tears of a revelation, of an epiphany, of a breakthrough, of a triumph! In just the last few weeks I’ve come to a point of a full blown transformation. I’ve always kept the subject of transformation to the forefront, understanding it’s an essential step of the human journey and what I was going through. Now I feel this shift happening in my body, in my very cells. After two years of inner turmoil and actively…
Moving towards joy
Recently I’ve been feeling the need to move away from trauma and focus more on joy. And what that internal feeling symbolises is that my being is ready to shift from one vibration to another. I am aligning myself with the vibration of joy. Until now, even if I’ve wanted more joy in my life and tried to attain it, I wasn’t aligned with it vibrationally since I was anchored in a lot of pain. For the last two years I’ve been actively soul-searching and self-querying. This month is full two years since I came back to writing after a long pause. Since then I’ve done major inner excavation work.…
Coming full circle
Last time I mentioned I couldn’t wait for my holidays away from the city and all that has been happening for the last few months. Now, it’s been two weeks into August and I’m just starting to feel some sort of relief and relaxation. It was somewhat hectic and messy so far actually. My son and I are currently staying in my granny’s house where we spent our winter with my partner just after we moved from Ireland to Bulgaria and before we moved to the capital. My father was also here but left today and the house has quietened down a bit, hence being able to write. My son…
