The Journey of Healing from Trauma

A woman's story of realising our strength is within us, connecting to our inner resource and taking responsibility of one's own happiness

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  • How my son starting school is helping me heal trauma image
    Trauma Healing

    How my son starting school is helping me heal trauma

    4th December 2019 /

    For the last more than three months now I’ve been through a whirlwind of a storm. I’ve never thought that my son staring school will bring so much up. More and more I realise how isolated I’ve been and how much I’ve lost contact with the outside world. More accurately, I’ve suspected that but the clash of reentering seems to be taking me much more effort and costing me much more energy than I’ve ever imagined. I know there are many reasons for this – I am and always have been a very sensitive person and being away from work for 8 years now has put me in a very…

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    Identifying Triggers Image

    Identifying triggers and breaking free from the past

    2nd May 2017
    A Strange Day Image

    A strange day… in a beautiful and vulnerable way

    7th March 2017
    Coming Out Of The Mud Image

    Coming out from the mud and continuing onward

    16th October 2017
  • Childhood Emotional Neglect Image
    Trauma Healing

    Childhood emotional neglect – the hidden root of my pain

    18th July 2019 /

    I just had my second EMDR therapy session. In EMDR we focus on a particular memory from our life – usually a traumatic one. I was working with an image of me when I was a child and my mother who was particularly unresponsive to my needs. Just to remind you, at the beginning of therapy my therapist confirmed that I was emotionally deprived/neglected as a child. Since then I read the book Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect by Dr Jonice Webb which further helped me understand my “diagnosis”. The book very well explains what emotional neglect is – it’s not about what happened but about what…

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    Turn of Seasons and New Horizons Image

    Turning seasons and the possibility of new horizons

    27th September 2018
    Being the gods that we are image

    Being the gods that we are

    22nd April 2016
    I am grateful image

    On gratitude

    20th December 2015
  • My Pain is My Power Image
    Trauma Healing

    My Pain is My Power

    17th June 2019 /

    Two weeks ago I started seeing a therapist. During the two times we met, we talked and went over the details of my past. We started with memories from my childhood and moved towards the more recent past. We made a plan – a timeline of particularly traumatic experiences and we’re going to work with each memory and event separately. I haven’t had the opportunity to talk freely about my past and everything that has happened so far. I had a brief experience of therapy back in Ireland right after my sister died but at the time, I had no idea of the magnitude of traumatic stress I was experiencing.…

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    Setting Free From Past Image

    Setting ourselves free from the pain of the past

    20th June 2018
    Identifying Triggers Image

    Identifying triggers and breaking free from the past

    2nd May 2017
    A turning point in my journey image

    A turning point on my healing journey – experiencing an emotional flashback and remembering my past

    1st March 2020
  • "If I only could make them happy" Image
    Trauma Healing

    “If I only could make them happy…”

    16th May 2019 /

    My inner journey of healing and discovery is reaching a turning point. For the past 5 years, I’ve been digging and going deeper and more inward like it was my job. And it was my full-time job – I’ve taken this task of nurturing self-understanding and awareness so seriously, it became my primary focus and priority. Layer by layer, I’ve been stripping old programmes, paradigms, and conditioning. I was determined to get to the core of things, to the root of all pain and ailments, emotional and psychological. Last year in September, I stumbled upon one piece of the puzzle – my mother had suffered from a mental condition and…

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    Letting go of guilt image

    Letting go of guilt

    29th April 2016
    Coming Out Of The Mud Image

    Coming out from the mud and continuing onward

    16th October 2017
    Learning to love ourselves image

    Learning to love ourselves

    30th December 2015
  • How my recent job rejection helped me heal and love myself image
    Trauma Healing

    How my recent job rejection helped me heal and love myself

    4th February 2019 /

    Last Monday I applied for a job position as a writer. It’s been many years since I worked as an employee and I’ve experienced a fair bit of disappointments on the professional front. But I thought all this was behind me now and since the opportunity was ticking my boxes and I met the requirements, I went for it with my best intentions. The hiring company was the online publication Bright Side and they wanted me to pass a test. After a couple of days of communicating with the HR, a broken link, and a slight delay, I got to the challenge. I didn’t pass it. But let me start from…

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    Reclaiming a lost self image

    Reclaiming a lost self: an experience in my home country

    13th September 2016
    Look How Far You've Come Image

    Honouring how far we have come

    18th January 2017
    The Power Is Within You Image

    The power is within you

    2nd August 2017
  • An unexpected healing experience during the holiday season image
    Trauma Healing

    An unexpected healing experience during the holiday season

    31st December 2018 /

    I am writing this on 31 December 2018 and so far this holiday season has proven unexpected. For first time ever my partner, son and I got to stay at home for the holidays. No travelling, no other people’s traditions or expectations – we put the start and foundation of our family tradition. This is something I’ve longed for for a very long time. I’ve never had a strong family of my own and I barely have any memories of our time together, if there was any “togetherness” at all. Having my own family has always been like a guiding star for me – something I’ve always, even subconsciously, strived for.…

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    Being Grateful for Another Year Image

    Here and now: being grateful for another year

    1st January 2017
    A hopeful start and a pat on the back image

    A hopeful start and a pat on the back

    17th January 2016
    Identifying Triggers Image

    Identifying triggers and breaking free from the past

    2nd May 2017
  • How childhood trauma robs away your power image
    Trauma Healing

    How childhood trauma robs your power away and how to take it back

    15th November 2018 /

    This summer I spent about a month at my father’s house with my son. It wasn’t our first time and, as I’d expected, it was tumultuous. A part of me knew it was time to stand up to some of the dysfunction in my family of origin and confront it. I could only hope that this experience was going to bring me some resolutions and it would prove empowering. And it did. For the first week or so the usual, generations-old, themes of guilt and shame, insecurity and inadequacy were saturating the air until it came to a boil. There were tears and screaming, anger and pain – suppressed emotions and…

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    September astrology vibes and dives image

    September astrology vibes and dives

    14th September 2016
    Showing Up For Ourselves Image

    Showing up for ourselves: an experience of a photo session

    30th June 2016
    My Pain is My Power Image

    My Pain is My Power

    17th June 2019
  • Codependency as the origin of mommy guilt image
    Trauma Healing

    How trauma and codependency in childhood can cause toxic mommy guilt

    6th November 2018 /

    I often question why I feel so much guilt as a mother towards my little boy. It’s not only crippling my own experience of being a mother but also sending inaccurate messages to my son which shape the way he views himself and the world. I feel stricken with guilt every time I feel the effects of my trauma. I blame myself for not being able to shake off the sadness or depression I feel, for the anger that sometimes I can’t hold or the negativity that my critical mind is keeping me a captive to. I feel shame every time I’m not at my best for letting my son down. When…

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    On the Brink of Dawn Image

    On the brink of dawn

    4th January 2018
    Forgiveness Letter Image

    Forgiveness letter to myself

    11th April 2017
    Working With The Inner Child Image2

    Working with the inner child: illuminations and release

    1st June 2017
  • The shame around being a "bad mother" Image
    Trauma Healing

    The shame around being a “bad mother”

    2nd November 2018 /

    Sometimes I resent being a mother. That is not to say that I don’t love my child. Unlike my mother and some mothers who can’t love, I do love my son. With all my heart and soul, always and forever. I believe all mothers have moments when they resent motherhood. I believe that the contemporary expectation to be a non-stop happy and vibrant mother is not only unrealistic, it’s also severely shaming and stigmatising. It makes natural temporary feelings of dissatisfaction or unfulfillment fester into gnawing guilt. That makes me think how terribly unprepared and largely delusional so many mothers enter into motherhood, including me. I wanted my child with…

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    Embracing Our Nature Image

    Embracing our (complex) human nature

    13th June 2017

    The importance of keeping the connection with yourself

    25th July 2021
    Self Doubt Image

    Self-doubt: get out of your head and into your heart

    14th February 2018
  • Turn of Seasons and New Horizons Image
    Trauma Healing

    Turning seasons and the possibility of new horizons

    27th September 2018 /

    Weather in Bulgaria has turned and it’s been really chilly for the last couple of days – we woke up to a 1°C/33°F morning in Sofia. It will be getting slightly warmer next week but, even so, autumn is upon us. I just flipped the calendar into October (although there’s a few more days) because I usually remember to do it when we’re well into the new month so I used this rare opportunity of remembering in advance. Doing this I flashbacked to when I first put the calendar up on the wall early in January. And here we are, just a few more days and we will be in…

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    I am the person I am because of my trauma image

    I am the person I am today because of my trauma, not despite it

    19th December 2019
    Becoming our true selves image

    Becoming our true selves

    2nd March 2016
    Coming Out Of The Mud Image

    Coming out from the mud and continuing onward

    16th October 2017
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Vilina Christoph Profile Image

Hello & Welcome

I am Vilina Christoph and I write about my journey of healing from childhood trauma and emotional neglect. I use words to transmute the pain from the adverse experiences into fuel for growth and empowerment. I believe we have the power to heal ourselves and transform our lives from within. I am passionate about helping women heal and grow to become their authentic selves and build an abundant life.

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