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Trauma Healing

Remembering what matters: on being social, school troubles and birthdays

Currently there’s about three planets residing in or near the realms of Aquarius, including the sun. That means we all get to experience a lot of Aquarian qualities. And if you don’t know what these are, I’ll give you a hint – the representatives of this zodiac sign are called “the social butterflies” of the zodiac wheel.

No wonder I haven’t been able to get to my blog in ages. But that doesn’t mean I’ve been quiet on the social front. Besides ruling social groups and settings, Aquarius also rules internet and technology. Yes, you guessed it – I’ve been busy communicating with people through any media possible – email, messaging, phone, and in person. And no, that’s not my usual demeanor.

The last few weeks have been full of activities such as organisation, administration, communication; planning, sorting, boxing things off; and other head-wrecking activities. Not bad though, not at all. I haven’t been so actively communicating and reaching out to people in a long time. I love the control you feel when you take those things in your hands – I feel like I’m running my life myself again, something I haven’t felt in a long time.

The major theme for the past weeks has been my son and his development. If you’ve been following this blog, you know about Sylvie – that small person that has claimed sole proprietorship of my heart.

A while ago I wrote about his troubles at preschool which, at periods of time, seem to quiet down and then resurface back again. I had yet another chat with two of his teachers/carers this week. Luckily my partner joined me this time to counterbalance the energies. I was so reluctant to hear the same comments and same issues being pointed out.

Last week after Sylvie was sick and having missed few days, I got some not very pleasant news from his teacher Jackie. It was something along the lines of: “If Sylvie doesn’t go to the toilet himself, the school could be shut down.”

I need to give you some context but to cut the long story short I’ll say that he’s been fighting the routine at school, e.g. going to the toilet and washing his hands. I understand it may sound like a really boring topic to be discussed but, as I’ve written before, all these seemingly insignificant events usually point to much deeper issues.

I was surprised, shocked, embarrassed and offended at the same time when I heard this statement from Jackie. And the main reason is that the last feedback I got from her was that things were progressing with Sylvie. Next thing, I was presented with this exaggeration that if he’s not able to do it, they’ll be shut down.

I know there’s quite a lot of miscommunication and misunderstanding, and nobody really means to offend anyone, it’s our own sense of guilt and inadequacy. I understand why Jackie felt the need to tell me this – simply because she’s struggling with handling Sylvie and she’s insure of what to do. She’s also in charge of the school and feels responsible for following each and every rule.

As of myself, I was vulnerable enough after Sylvie’s sickness and also I believed things were going okay. I was simply not prepared for such a heavy, almost accusational statementAnd of course I know I’m not being accused but when we aren’t stable enough, we just tend to personalise things. And since it’s my child we’re talking about there’s no way it isn’t personal after all. I feel directly responsible for each and every accident.

But in all this, we forget the main character here. And that’s not Jackie or me, but Sylvie.

My heart literally sunk after that morning. It was so heavy with grief and sadness about this little person, that all I could do is hide my tears on the way back home. How did I get so distracted again? Wasn’t I paying enough attention to notice he wasn’t happy?

And I saw it all again, a bit like on a reverse slow motion. The missteps, the omissions… For all I know is that I believed he was doing well based on the feedback from Jackie. But I should’ve known better. I shouldn’t have let down my boy again.

But now I know what to look for. And it’s not anyone else’s feedback. I should look into my boy’s heart.

I know that all he needs is my love and support. And that of his dad. And somehow we get caught up in the distractions around us. Sometimes I feel there’s so much interference and noise that I can’t focus on what really matters.

Today we got the thumbs up from Jackie – Sylvie asked to go to the toilet. There was no fighting, he went willingly on his own accord.

And I know why that happened. Because I’ve been spending a lot of quality time with him the days after he was sick. He was off from school for the most of the past week and we’ve been going out every day. We did shopping, we played in the park, he rode his balance bike. It was also his birthday this weekend – there were people and cake, and balloons. We also did a small celebration at the school with buns and songs, and my partner and I were there to cheer.

He felt loved and supported. In his core. His parents, family and friends were there for him.

After the celebration we went for a ride with his new scooter. We were happy, he was riding and I was running with him. Hey, what’s a better thing to do in an afternoon?

Then we had a nap and slept for hours, and when we woke up it was just the time for some leftover cake!

I believe when your children are having a tough time at school is one of the most challenging time for them and us – do you agree? Share in the comments!


Vilina Christoph is a spiritual writer and uses the power of words to help others on their journey of healing and recovery. She distills challenging life experiences into meaningful lessons and practical wisdom. She believes that finding our voices and speaking our truth empowers us to transform our lives and reach long-lasting fulfillment.

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