Hey everyone, I’ve missed you!
I often find myself distracted in many ways in life. Then I start feeling very anxious and then I realise it often is because I haven’t written in a while. (I know I’ve said that before.)
The thing is that when we’re by ourselves, not really doing anything creative, our minds can run wild. It’s like our minds are looking hard to find something to do and when we’re not giving them that, they starts going rampant in our heads.
Do you feel that sometimes?
I can’t pin point why this is happening, why we still procrastinate, even when we know the process quite well. But it’s our nature. It is who we are as humans. We’re prone to such behaviors. It’s so much easier to distract ourselves with god-knows-what than actually sit down and do the thing that’s been on our minds for a while.
Right now, I’m having some alone time. My partner and son went away to visit the family and for the first time in a very long while I find myself with plenty of time for myself. I did loads of things that normally I won’t indulge in. But I kind of overdid it. I mean, you can give yourself the freedom to not be doing much, to just do all these things that you never allow yourself to do. But the time comes when you start feeling dissatisfied.
The formula has worked for a while but repeating it for longer than it’s needed starts making you feel frustrated and even anxious.
This is my experience.
But I’ve been down that road before so I knew I just needed to open my blog and start writing. Still, I’m amazed by the power of our egos and the way they make sure to keep us away from what our souls truly desire.
It’s always a little scary to put yourself out there, there’s always some doubt about what we share with the world, there’s always uncertainty. And our egos simply don’t like any of this. They’d rather keep us doing some old nothing just to ensure we don’t get exposed to the “harshness” of failure or rejection, etc.
I find that truly astonishing. Human nature is such a paradox.
We know what would truly make us happy but often we avoid that.
Yet, the most important here is to know yourself. To know your shortcomings. To know your complex nature. And to love that. We’ve been given this unbelievable opportunity to feel such opposing emotions all at the same time. We need to see this as a gift not a curse, even when it may feel more like a curse.
When we embrace ourselves in all our controversy, diversity, complexity and colour, we will understand the brilliance of being a human. And we will be able to integrate all this multiplicity. We will be able to perceive ourselves as artwork rather than an error.
My urge to you today is to be aware of and be kind to yourself.
Life is such a journey and we don’t know even where tomorrow will bring us. We wake up and we feel like “it’s one of those days” but that doesn’t always mean the whole day will be like this. If we don’t judge the feeling, if we just say to ourselves “I feel s**t right now but that may change later”, we’re giving ourselves a chance to feel different. If we don’t grab onto that feeling, it may very well disappear by itself. It’s usually our minds again that are making a thing out of it and then we find ourselves in a very familiar unhealthy pattern.
We can change this, we can detach. We can embrace our nature and observe.
This is pure self-love and compassion.
I wish you a beautiful week and remember to only keep an eye on your feelings but not grab onto them. Remember you’re a beautiful complex creation and embrace all the ways this shows up for you.
With Love, Vilina. I’d love to hear your thoughts. Let me know in the comments.