• Memoir Five

    Memoir: Five

    When my sister rang me on the morning of October 15, 2010, to tell me our mom had just passed away, I was just going out to work. It was Friday, our busiest day in the restaurant. I wish I would’ve stayed at home but I knew I had to show up for everyone else plus I wasn’t sure if I was able to stay by myself with the news. All the way down to work I was rationalising the traumatic event – “it’s better that she didn’t suffer long”, “she’s better there”, “her pain is over”. I couldn’t possible imagine what it meant for me – the death of my…

  • Memoir Four

    Memoir: Four

    Since my son was born I lived in fear, fear of the final news. I started having anxiety and panic attacks. I would become short of breath out of the blue and wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. I could just try to catch my breath, get control over it. But it didn’t always work. This continued two years. I’ve missed so many moments of my son’s first two years. I simply couldn’t enjoy it, I was haunted by death every moment since he was born. I remember the pivotal moments of the first outing, first solid foods, first steps, first words, but anything in between is mostly…

  • Memoir Three

    Memoir: Three

    I spent 9 years living in Ireland, most of my adult life so far. I learned a lot. Here are some of the things I learned while there, for better or worse: I learned to drink tea with milk – in my home country we mainly drink herbal teas. It took me a good few years to accept the idea of “milky tea”. I learned to eat fried/scrambled eggs for breakfast, sometimes with beans, sausages, or bacon – where I come from we call this a packed-full lunch. I learned to apologise when somebody bumps INTO me – this one is really funny and when I do it here, I…

  • Memoir Two

    Memoir: Two

    When I first looked I saw one line and instantly felt relief. But when I looked closer, I could barely see the pale second line. It was positive. I was sitting on the toilet seat in the bathroom and the reality of what was happening started hitting me. I was pregnant. Once the initial panic passed, I could feel an excitement. It wasn’t a bad thing, I thought. I do love him. Of all men I’ve been with, he’s the only one I would like to have children with. I know we’ve been both silently thinking about it and agreeing on the possibility of it one day. But that day…

  • Memoir One

    Memoir: One

    I went to Ireland because I was following a dream, an instinct, but most of all, I think I was following my soul’s whispers. Ireland thought me some of my greatest lessons. It set up the stage for a personal transformation to happen. My soul led me to this mysterious island so it could connect with me, so it could wake me up for my truth and my calling. Ireland also gave me the greatest gift – the gift of two soul mates, my partner and my son. They are both my greatest challengers and my deepest igniters. They hold the mirrors and the space for my awakening to take…

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