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VILINA CHRISTOPH

A Woman's Story of Healing & Empowerment

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  • Resources
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  • Healing & Recovery
  • The Empowered Women Series
  • The Wonder List
  • Web Wonderland
  • Spirituality
  • Healing Verses
  • Web Wonderland No.6 Image
    Web Wonderland

    Web Wonderland No.6 & what I’ve been up to: My hyper-active mind + books, tv, and useful links

    Hey you! I’d like to put together a post that summarises everything I’ve been up to during the last few weeks. I haven’t been able to post much, I feel like my mind has been stretched by hundreds of tiny and not so tiny pieces of information. So I’ll try to put it all up here as a trace for myself and also there’s quite a few things that may present an interest to you too. I often get tense and mentally overwhelmed when I haven’t “emptied my mind’s cup” and that’s how I felt for a while now. Sometimes I get quite amazed how active my mind could be and…

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    Codependency as the origin of mommy guilt image

    How trauma and codependency in childhood can cause toxic mommy guilt

    6th November 2018
    Choice Is Yours Image

    The choice is yours

    7th August 2017
    On the Brink of Dawn Image

    On the brink of dawn

    4th January 2018
  • Web Wonderland No.5 Image
    Web Wonderland

    Web Wonderland No.5: The importance of a support system, working with the medicine wheel and being yourself while changing the world

    Hey you! Back on the chair, I’m determined to present you with some useful information around the web. But first… In fairness, though, life is intense… I’ve been mainly spending time with my son Sylvian, doing school runs, parks, parents’ meetings and the likes. And talking to his new teacher/carer. Well, things are complicated but I’m willing to work with the issues and repair as much of what has been done in the past. The truth is that we are a collection, or a collage, of what we have been through and what has happened so we have to work with our wounds and scars and try heal them as…

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    Waving Goodbye Image

    Waving goodbye to the past

    10th January 2018
    Motherhood Image

    Motherhood and enjoying the present moment

    2nd October 2017
    Look How Far You've Come Image

    “Look how far you’ve come!”

    21st October 2016
  • Web Wonderland No.4 Image
    Web Wonderland

    Web Wonderland No.4: How your ancestors’ experiences affect you, learn to tap away your fear, and live a loveable life

    Hey You! March is here – one of my favourite months – the winter’s pretty much over, the sun’s warming up everything back to life, and in Bulgaria we have the most colourful and meaningful celebrations. First of March is the day of Baba Marta (Granny March) – it marks the arrival of spring and we put on red and white woven martenitsi to symbolise health and longevity.  Third of March is our Liberation Day, when Bulgaria was liberated from the Ottoman Rule which lasted around 500 years. Eighth of March is the International Women’s Day which is widely celebrated around the world and is still quite big in Bulgaria…

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    Saying Thanks image

    Saying Thanks

    31st December 2015
    The missing relationship with the mother image

    On grief: the missing relationship with the mother

    19th May 2016
    Remembering what matters image

    Remembering what matters: on being social, school troubles and birthdays

    18th February 2016
  • Web Wonderland No.3 Image
    Web Wonderland

    Web Wonderland No.3: New life coming to fruition, crazy eclipse season, and a special bind magic

    Hey You! It’s been a busy week. Recently I shared about our move from Ireland to Bulgaria, and the trip in between. Now, after almost three months of harsh winter, snow-shoveling and playing house, this move and the change involved with it is coming to fruition. My family and I are ready to move in our new apartment in Sofia and start putting the foundations of this new cycle in our lives and soul paths. It doesn’t sound like much but we’ve put an enormous effort into making this new life come true – we’ve said goodbye to family, friends, the house where our son grew up, the land, the country…

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    Childhood Emotional Neglect Image

    Childhood emotional neglect – the hidden root of my pain

    18th July 2019
    Self Doubt Image

    Self-doubt: get out of your head and into your heart

    14th February 2018
    Breaking free from our mental prisons image

    Breaking free of our mental prisons

    9th June 2016
  • Web Wonderland No.2 Image
    Web Wonderland

    Web Wonderland No.2: How to clear past life trauma, create freedom in your life, and put your money into what makes you happy

    Hey You! I hope you’re sitting comfortably (or lying leisurely) with your favourite cuppa so you can enjoy this week’s web wonderland fully! ♦ We’ll start with this amazing story on healing past life trauma, something me myself have been looking into for quite some time. There’s tons of interesting articles on this blog. More on Past Life Trauma Clearing Make sure you read the previous post she’s linking to! ♦ Also a TED Talk by the same person Subconscious Sabotage | Daphna Slonim ♦ Hers’ somebody else I’ve been following for a while. She’s got great podcast series plus many more tips and support for The Liberated Woman™. How to…

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    "If I only could make them happy" Image

    “If I only could make them happy…”

    16th May 2019
    The missing relationship with the mother image

    On grief: the missing relationship with the mother

    19th May 2016
    Follow Your Feelings Image

    Follow your feelings

    11th September 2017
  • Web Wonderland No.1 Image
    Web Wonderland

    Web Wonderland No.1: How to heal childhood trauma, speak with confidence and say “yes” to everything

    Hey You! This week I’m introducing a new feature on the blog, Web Wonderland. Here you will read valuable information I find around the web that is worth sharing. I’ll strive to make these posts as regular as I can. They will be mainly pieces on personal development & transformation, spiritual growth & evolution, healing & empowerment, and other stuff that promotes our blossoming into the whole, fulfilled and authentic people we are meant to be. So get yourself a cup of your favourite drink, sit back and enjoy! ♦ As I often do, I look into our childhood where lots of our issues stem from. Here are two pieces on…

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    Year 2015 what it brought image

    Year 2015: what it brought to my family and what it taught me

    16th December 2015
    Inner Child Therapy Image

    Inner Child Therapy: Working with the father and mother roles

    12th April 2017
    Coming Full Circle Image

    Coming full circle

    16th August 2017
Vilina Christoph Headshot Image

Hello & Welcome

I am Vilina Christoph and I write about my journey of healing and recovery from childhood trauma and abuse. I use words to transmute the pain and adversity into fuel for growth and empowerment. I believe we have the power to heal ourselves and transform our lives from within. I am passionate about helping women heal, grow and feel empowered to build and live a full authentic life.

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  • 🌱 WHAT PERSONAL GROWTH & HEALING FROM TRAUMA FEELS & LOOKS LIKE 🌱 . The accelerated pace in my healing journey continues as I mentioned in a recent post. I feel that an integration of past wounds and trauma is occurring at a speedy level, too. . The more the fragmented "exiled" parts of ourselves are being integrated back into our wholeness, the more energy is freed up for focus and progress. The more the pieces of our stories start to make sense and we put them into a coherent story. And we're not so much being drowned in it, we're coming at a surface level and we're able to look in retrospect. . We're able to distinguish ourselves from our past mistakes and failures, and see ourselves in truth for who we are. We are able to find even forgiveness, one that has been out of reach for so long maybe. . One of the most significant parts of the healing journey and growth is the welcoming back of your inner child. Reparenting is at the core of healing childhood trauma. . Not to mention the massive awareness you've developed and a deep understanding for the human condition. . Now is the time when you start perceiving your true purpose, something that has also been obscured from you for so long. But you've also learned patience and that timing is important. Your purpose is not going to run away from you. . Opportunities will show up and little by little you'll gain back confidence, zest and desire for life. . May you be free on your healing journey and growth 🌋🌋
  • Here is a gentle reminder and a loving note for You from your Loving Self 💕 Have a gorgeous weekend! .. Via @gratefulness.me
  • Hey everyone, it's been almost a month since my last post so I thought I'd better make an appearance. I'm still here and haven't abandoned my account. The truth is that I had a real busy and tough time the past... well, month and a half to be exact. On Wednesday I had a mini breakdown and I was quite close to a burnout. But I'm better after I had some long sleep last night and couple of naps the last two days. .. We've moved apartment (and neighbourhood), the "usual" school troubles are back, son and I were sick, and I've had to do with various admin bits, plus a job offer. Does life just happens all at once, all of a sudden or is it just me? .. Honestly, I had to draw many conclusions and take into account the ways in which I act. I believe there are ways to achieve what we want without exhausting ourselves fully and I'm learning to be smarter in the future. Fact is that things DO happen the way we want but also we have to pay the price, if we're not smart. .. So that was a quick hello from me 👋😊 How have you been? ~V. ❤️
  • Oh Boy! The past three weeks have officially been the most intense for the whole year. But today is my birthday and I feel grateful for everything in my life and for life itself. I'm grateful for the people who appreciate me, who love me, who think of me. We don't need much in life at all. Sometimes a good book and a glass of colourful drink (especially when they colour match) is what makes us take a deep bow. Thank You Life ❤️
  • 💔 GRIEF (AGAIN) 💔 I want to share a bit about my experience of grief and how essential the process of grieving is. • I had wonderful time while on holidays but on some days I felt excruciating sadness and pain, aka grief. Of course, my first thoughts, product of my critical voice, were why now, why again, have I not cried enough already, have I not shed the pain yet, why do I still feel like this?... I really wish I was "over it" but trauma and healing are two unpredictable and uncontrollable experiences. You HAVE TO SURRENDER to the feelings. • On the other hand, those very feelings and emotions are the ones that will carry you over and heal you eventually. The more you try to suppress them, the more persistent they will be. I had to overcome the guilt and shame of still "feeling like this" and accept things as they are. I still feel pain, I still hurt, I'm still carrying trauma. I had to allow for the process and let go of control. • It was difficult to let myself be seen like this, to drop the guard and the walls of protection and strength, to be vulnerable and feel exposed. But a part of me needed this, the part of me that's still hurting. That part needs validation and acknowledgement, it needs me to accept and allow it fully. If it needs to cry - it needs to cry and I need to allow it. If it needs to feel sad - it needs it and I need to allow it. • This is the process of true grieving. My inner child needs me and I need to grief for everything I've missed on as a child. Moving forward won't happen if I don't let the grieving to occur, no matter how much and how long it takes. There's no other way forward than acknowledging your pain and feeling all the feelings of grief. • Do you resonate? ❤ • 📷 @nymphana_ ✌
  • Back from holidays now and settling in the city again while prepping for the school year to begin. Every time I take a break from social media it makes me think what I really want to do with my account. And, first, I felt I wanted to thank everyone who's sticking around when I'm not posting regularly and who's here and appreciating the content. I'm still on this journey of healing and I will continue sharing valuable information that I've found helpful. I want the healing of our traumas to become a revolutionary movement and I believe it slowly is. So many of us are waking up and willing to transform and transmute their pain, not just pass it on. I'm excited to be here, to live now and be a part of a global community of (self) healers. 💕 To you, to us - onwards! V. 💋
  • A piece of paradise in the northeast of Bulgaria 🏡 We're staying here with the fam till the end of the week, surrounded by farmlands and beaches. This land is one of the very few that have not been touched by developers and builders. In moments and places like this I'm proud to call myself Bulgarian because our land is magical and special, where the money thirst hasn't reached yet. Wishing you all a beautiful week, find some magic for yourselves and soak it up 🌞
  • Such a great post by Nicole @the.holistic.psychologist 🙏🙏🙏 • You not only survived in environments, you adapted to them. From parents who couldn’t be what you needed, to bullying, to pains that your tiny self couldn’t process. You’re still here. Never forget those past versions of yourself. You carry them with you, and they’re a consistent reminder of your resilience. Because you follow this account, you’ve chosen to go beyond the survivor. You’ve made a choice to heal. This is the most courageous thing a person can do in their lifetime. No other achievement comes close. Contrary to what our deeply confused culture continues to preach. I was the child hiding under tables. Afraid of anyone even coming into my house. At bedtime came night terrors— my parents dying of someone breaking in. My mother, carrying her own unresolved trauma, was unable to bond with me. And, in the alchemy that is the human experience, this would lead me to my life’s work. Trust the healing process. You’ll see just how much of your own suffering you create. You’ll learn that the biggest thing in your way is you and your self limiting beliefs. And that’s a good thing because YOU are the only thing you’ll ever be able to change in this life. Read that line again. Resist the ego asking “how much longer” or “when will I know it’s over?” With time you’ll understand the process itself is teaching you patience. It’s teaching you surrender. It’s teaching you how to connect to the most important voice you needed to disconnect from to survive: your own. Take a moment of gratitude below and acknowledge just how far you’ve actually come. Incase you haven’t been told recently, you are a warrior. I see you #selfhealers • Reposted from @the.holistic.psychologist
  • Playing with the foliage in my father's garden 🌿 We arrived today at his house with my son to spend a few days before heading to the seaside. I was getting a bit edgy after spending two and a half hot summer months in the city. It was good but it was time for a move before we plunge into school season in September. • Happy Full Moon in Aquarius tomorrow! Wish me fun on my travels, I'll be back in about 10 days 🌴🏖🌴
  • Sometimes I want to be already "healed", I want to feel "ready", I want to be doing everything I've been wanting to be doing. I feel impatient and I want to be "there" already. • However, I've learned to recognise that that's when my ego has takes up the driving seat. But my higher self knows that all that is an illusion. • The healing journey is a process, and not a linear one. Being healed isn't an end destination, it's a never-ending story, we wouldn't be here on earth otherwise. • Readiness is just a way of fooling ourselves that we can't have what we want right now. It's a way of avoiding fear and discomfort. But there is no growth without pain. • This is a reminder to take a step at a time, give thanks for your process and to remember to stop from time to time and enjoy the view from the path you're on. 💚🌿💚
  • ⚡ HIGH STANDARDS AND CRITICALNESS ⚡ • Another core belief/pattern from Schema Therapy is Relentless Standards and Hypercriticalness. It's one that I have and struggle with on daily basis. • In essence, the high standards we have towards ourselves and others usually serve as a compensation for the feeling of low self-worth. The relentless striving to be “perfect” is a way to soothe our feelings of shame, to avoid feeling rejected, or because of fear of failure. Another reason is that we could’ve grown up with critical, perfectionistic parents and that’s what we’ve learned and internalised. • Our high standards can come up as extreme orderliness (being pedantic), orientation towards achieving goals (being a workaholic), or seeking status (external recognition). These different behaviours compensate for different fears we might have. • The truth is that keeping up high standards can come at an extremely high price - most of our energy goes in keeping them and our health and relationships can suffer. Often we feel pressured and burdened by the weight and impossibleness of those standards. • I’ve noticed for myself that I can’t say “I don’t know” - I feel an internal obligation that I have to have the answers. To not know would mean that I’m less of a person, that I’m a failure, or not good enough. But the responsibility I feel is too great and the weight is crushing me. • High standards sap the energy, joy, pleasure, and spontaneity of life. You may achieve perfection according to your high standards but you will not have anything left in you to enjoy it. In fact, you’ll most likely find the next goal and work relentlessly towards that. But you can heal and stop the cycle. • Do you relate? How do you cope with your standards? 💚
  • 🍁 MY EXPERIENCE WITH EMDR 🍁 • The experience of EMDR is difficult to describe with words - it happens on a deep emotional level and words are not even necessary during the process. But I found it very gentle even though it could bring you to the deepest depths of your inner world. • That’s what happened to me - all the three sessions I’ve had so far took me to places I’ve not expected and even thought they exist. As a rule, you start working with a memory you have and then you follow the feelings, thoughts and sensations you feel with your body and mind. You continue following the trail until you usually come across the root, as I see it. • During my second session, I’ve discovered an emotional “tumour” in my chest area and I figured this was all the pain I’ve felt during my childhood years of emotional deprivation and neglect, stored within my body and around my heart. During the last session, towards the end, I found myself in a desert, which I figured was symbolic of how alone and lost I’ve felt as a child. • It was all very powerful and emotional. And even though it is difficult to confront these suppressed feelings, after that we could release the stuck emotions and integrate those painful memories. They become part of our story but no longer have an emotional hold over our present lives. • I’m looking forward to more EMDR sessions with my therapist and I can recommend it to everyone who’s suffered trauma in the past. I’ve read that it’s particularly helpful with a single event traumas and PTSD. Childhood trauma and abuse (and Complex PTSD) could be trickier and you may need to combine more that one healing approach. So far I’m grateful I’ve found EMDR and that it’s helping me with my childhood trauma. We also work with Schema during my therapy. • Have you tried EMDR? What's your experience with it? 🍁

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Recent Posts

  • How my son starting school is helping me heal trauma imageHow my son starting school is helping me heal trauma
  • Shyla Cash Interview ImageInterview with Shyla Cash: Narcissistic abuse and emotional neglect survivor, and a coach at Grow Heal Change
  • Childhood Emotional Neglect ImageChildhood emotional neglect – the hidden root of my pain
  • Tanya Amidei Interview ImageInterview with Tanya Amidei: Sexual abuse survivor, life coach and a spiritual writer
  • My Pain is My Power ImageMy Pain is My Power
  • The Wonder List June ImageThe Wonder List: Goal, Gratitude, Inspiration & Affirmation for the Month of June

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  • Spirituality (13)
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  • 🌱 WHAT PERSONAL GROWTH & HEALING FROM TRAUMA FEELS & LOOKS LIKE 🌱 . The accelerated pace in my healing journey continues as I mentioned in a recent post. I feel that an integration of past wounds and trauma is occurring at a speedy level, too. . The more the fragmented "exiled" parts of ourselves are being integrated back into our wholeness, the more energy is freed up for focus and progress. The more the pieces of our stories start to make sense and we put them into a coherent story. And we're not so much being drowned in it, we're coming at a surface level and we're able to look in retrospect. . We're able to distinguish ourselves from our past mistakes and failures, and see ourselves in truth for who we are. We are able to find even forgiveness, one that has been out of reach for so long maybe. . One of the most significant parts of the healing journey and growth is the welcoming back of your inner child. Reparenting is at the core of healing childhood trauma. . Not to mention the massive awareness you've developed and a deep understanding for the human condition. . Now is the time when you start perceiving your true purpose, something that has also been obscured from you for so long. But you've also learned patience and that timing is important. Your purpose is not going to run away from you. . Opportunities will show up and little by little you'll gain back confidence, zest and desire for life. . May you be free on your healing journey and growth 🌋🌋
  • Here is a gentle reminder and a loving note for You from your Loving Self 💕 Have a gorgeous weekend! .. Via @gratefulness.me
  • Hey everyone, it's been almost a month since my last post so I thought I'd better make an appearance. I'm still here and haven't abandoned my account. The truth is that I had a real busy and tough time the past... well, month and a half to be exact. On Wednesday I had a mini breakdown and I was quite close to a burnout. But I'm better after I had some long sleep last night and couple of naps the last two days. .. We've moved apartment (and neighbourhood), the "usual" school troubles are back, son and I were sick, and I've had to do with various admin bits, plus a job offer. Does life just happens all at once, all of a sudden or is it just me? .. Honestly, I had to draw many conclusions and take into account the ways in which I act. I believe there are ways to achieve what we want without exhausting ourselves fully and I'm learning to be smarter in the future. Fact is that things DO happen the way we want but also we have to pay the price, if we're not smart. .. So that was a quick hello from me 👋😊 How have you been? ~V. ❤️
  • Oh Boy! The past three weeks have officially been the most intense for the whole year. But today is my birthday and I feel grateful for everything in my life and for life itself. I'm grateful for the people who appreciate me, who love me, who think of me. We don't need much in life at all. Sometimes a good book and a glass of colourful drink (especially when they colour match) is what makes us take a deep bow. Thank You Life ❤️
  • 💔 GRIEF (AGAIN) 💔 I want to share a bit about my experience of grief and how essential the process of grieving is. • I had wonderful time while on holidays but on some days I felt excruciating sadness and pain, aka grief. Of course, my first thoughts, product of my critical voice, were why now, why again, have I not cried enough already, have I not shed the pain yet, why do I still feel like this?... I really wish I was "over it" but trauma and healing are two unpredictable and uncontrollable experiences. You HAVE TO SURRENDER to the feelings. • On the other hand, those very feelings and emotions are the ones that will carry you over and heal you eventually. The more you try to suppress them, the more persistent they will be. I had to overcome the guilt and shame of still "feeling like this" and accept things as they are. I still feel pain, I still hurt, I'm still carrying trauma. I had to allow for the process and let go of control. • It was difficult to let myself be seen like this, to drop the guard and the walls of protection and strength, to be vulnerable and feel exposed. But a part of me needed this, the part of me that's still hurting. That part needs validation and acknowledgement, it needs me to accept and allow it fully. If it needs to cry - it needs to cry and I need to allow it. If it needs to feel sad - it needs it and I need to allow it. • This is the process of true grieving. My inner child needs me and I need to grief for everything I've missed on as a child. Moving forward won't happen if I don't let the grieving to occur, no matter how much and how long it takes. There's no other way forward than acknowledging your pain and feeling all the feelings of grief. • Do you resonate? ❤ • 📷 @nymphana_ ✌
  • Back from holidays now and settling in the city again while prepping for the school year to begin. Every time I take a break from social media it makes me think what I really want to do with my account. And, first, I felt I wanted to thank everyone who's sticking around when I'm not posting regularly and who's here and appreciating the content. I'm still on this journey of healing and I will continue sharing valuable information that I've found helpful. I want the healing of our traumas to become a revolutionary movement and I believe it slowly is. So many of us are waking up and willing to transform and transmute their pain, not just pass it on. I'm excited to be here, to live now and be a part of a global community of (self) healers. 💕 To you, to us - onwards! V. 💋
  • A piece of paradise in the northeast of Bulgaria 🏡 We're staying here with the fam till the end of the week, surrounded by farmlands and beaches. This land is one of the very few that have not been touched by developers and builders. In moments and places like this I'm proud to call myself Bulgarian because our land is magical and special, where the money thirst hasn't reached yet. Wishing you all a beautiful week, find some magic for yourselves and soak it up 🌞
  • Such a great post by Nicole @the.holistic.psychologist 🙏🙏🙏 • You not only survived in environments, you adapted to them. From parents who couldn’t be what you needed, to bullying, to pains that your tiny self couldn’t process. You’re still here. Never forget those past versions of yourself. You carry them with you, and they’re a consistent reminder of your resilience. Because you follow this account, you’ve chosen to go beyond the survivor. You’ve made a choice to heal. This is the most courageous thing a person can do in their lifetime. No other achievement comes close. Contrary to what our deeply confused culture continues to preach. I was the child hiding under tables. Afraid of anyone even coming into my house. At bedtime came night terrors— my parents dying of someone breaking in. My mother, carrying her own unresolved trauma, was unable to bond with me. And, in the alchemy that is the human experience, this would lead me to my life’s work. Trust the healing process. You’ll see just how much of your own suffering you create. You’ll learn that the biggest thing in your way is you and your self limiting beliefs. And that’s a good thing because YOU are the only thing you’ll ever be able to change in this life. Read that line again. Resist the ego asking “how much longer” or “when will I know it’s over?” With time you’ll understand the process itself is teaching you patience. It’s teaching you surrender. It’s teaching you how to connect to the most important voice you needed to disconnect from to survive: your own. Take a moment of gratitude below and acknowledge just how far you’ve actually come. Incase you haven’t been told recently, you are a warrior. I see you #selfhealers • Reposted from @the.holistic.psychologist

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© 2015-2019 Vilina Christoph