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VILINA CHRISTOPH

A Woman's Story of Healing & Empowerment

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  • How my son starting school is helping me heal trauma image
    Healing & Recovery

    How my son starting school is helping me heal trauma

    For the last more than three months now I’ve been through a whirlwind of a storm. I’ve never thought that my son staring school will bring so much up. More and more I realise how isolated I’ve been and how much I’ve lost contact with the outside world. More accurately, I’ve suspected that but the clash of reentering seems to be taking me much more effort and costing me much more energy than I’ve ever imagined. I know there are many reasons for this – I am and always have been a very sensitive person and being away from work for 8 years now has put me in a very…

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    Interview with Jonelle du Pont: blogger and writer at Tyranny of Pink

    26th July 2017
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    On support and being in the flow

    19th April 2017
    A Solo Adventure Image

    A solo adventure and a glance into a past life

    27th April 2017
  • How childhood trauma robs away your power image
    Healing & Recovery

    How childhood trauma robs your power away and how to take it back

    This summer I spent about a month at my father’s house with my son. It wasn’t our first time and, as I’d expected, it was tumultuous. A part of me knew it was time to stand up to some of the dysfunction in my family of origin and confront it. I could only hope that this experience was going to bring me some resolutions and it would prove empowering. And it did. For the first week or so the usual, generations-old, themes of guilt and shame, insecurity and inadequacy were saturating the air until it came to a boil. There were tears and screaming, anger and pain – suppressed emotions and…

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    Cutting through clouds and fear

    17th October 2016
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    Remembering what matters: on being social, school troubles and birthdays

    18th February 2016
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    My Pain is My Power

    17th June 2019
  • Codependency as the origin of mommy guilt image
    Healing & Recovery

    How trauma and codependency in childhood can cause toxic mommy guilt

    I often question why I feel so much guilt as a mother towards my little boy. It’s not only crippling my own experience of being a mother but also sending inaccurate messages to my son which shape the way he views himself and the world. I feel stricken with guilt every time I feel the effects of my trauma. I blame myself for not being able to shake off the sadness or depression I feel, for the anger that sometimes I can’t hold or the negativity that my critical mind is keeping me a captive to. I feel shame every time I’m not at my best for letting my son down. When…

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    A Solo Adventure Image

    A solo adventure and a glance into a past life

    27th April 2017
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    Follow your feelings

    11th September 2017
    Remembering what matters image

    Remembering what matters: on being social, school troubles and birthdays

    18th February 2016
  • The shame around being a "bad mother" Image
    Healing & Recovery

    The shame around being a “bad mother”

    Sometimes I resent being a mother. That is not to say that I don’t love my child. Unlike my mother and some mothers who can’t love, I do love my son. With all my heart and soul, always and forever. I believe all mothers have moments when they resent motherhood. I believe that the contemporary expectation to be a non-stop happy and vibrant mother is not only unrealistic, it’s also severely shaming and stigmatising. It makes natural temporary feelings of dissatisfaction or unfulfillment fester into gnawing guilt. That makes me think how terribly unprepared and largely delusional so many mothers enter into motherhood, including me. I wanted my child with…

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    Moving towards joy

    7th September 2017
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    Showing up for ourselves: an experience of a photo session

    30th June 2016
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    The Wonder List: Goal, Gratitude, Inspiration & Affirmation for the Month of April

    3rd April 2019
  • Breaking free from our mental prisons image
    Healing & Recovery

    Breaking free of our mental prisons

    I mentioned in my last post that I’ve kept myself into a sort of a mental prison. After talking to my therapist about it and going for a walk after, it came to me – another piece of the puzzle. After the dreams about my past lives, I had another few empowering dreams – one symbolising letting go of the burden I’ve been carrying by throwing things out of a backpack I’ve been carrying, and another – expressing myself freely by singing to a song I don’t remember the words of but nevertheless singing loudly and freely. To me, those dreams symbolise my emotional release of the trauma I’ve been lugging around…

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    An unexpected healing experience during the holiday season

    31st December 2018
    Letting go never goes out of fashion image

    Letting go (of what no longer serves us) never goes out of fashion

    2nd January 2020
    Accepting Our Shadow Image

    Accepting our shadow as a way back to wholeness

    6th June 2018
  • Rewriting My Story Image
    Healing & Recovery

    Rewriting my story in a radical self-forgiveness context

    “I am here to deal with my fear of isolation, loneliness and loss. I have chosen my parents, sibling, partner, child, close friends, and my life circumstances so they can support my soul’s evolution. My mother temporarily left me for 5 years when I was 10 years old. Then she permanently left my life when I was 26. By doing so, she first opened a hole in me as a young child, and then she made that hole graver, bigger and deeper by leaving this world altogether. When my mum first left she prepared me for encountering a greater feeling of loneliness and loss later in my life. When she…

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    A turning point on my healing journey – experiencing an emotional flashback and remembering my past

    1st March 2020
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    Inner Child Therapy: Working with the father and mother roles

    12th April 2017
    Your Feelings Are Valid Image

    You and your feelings are valid

    24th July 2017
  • Letting go of guilt image
    Healing & Recovery

    Letting go of guilt

    In this post I’d like to discuss the feeling of guilt – in particular the guilt inherited from our parents and the way we carry this within us through life. I believe guilt can play out in our lives in two ways: the guilt our parents felt towards us when we were young (and perhaps still feel) and how that affected us in becoming whole beings the guilt we carry over for our parents and we as parents feel towards our children. And I believe this guilt is carried through the generations. Perhaps this is a new concept for you but bear with me. If you find yourself feeling guilty in situations…

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    Why holding space is so important in relationships

    11th October 2016
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    Interview with Laura Lee: Therapist and Coach at Scapegoats Anonymous

    19th April 2019
    How Relationships Help us Heal and Transform Image

    How relationships help us heal and transform

    8th October 2016
Vilina Christoph Headshot Image

Hello & Welcome

I am Vilina Christoph and I write about my journey of healing and recovery from childhood trauma and emotional neglect. I use words to transmute the pain and adversity into fuel for growth and empowerment. I believe we have the power to heal ourselves and transform our lives from within. I am passionate about helping women heal, grow and build an abundant and authentic life .

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