“Happiness is not only our birthright. It is also our obligation.”
The days and weeks roll by and I find it hard to sit and write. Too much is going through my head but can’t seem to be able to stop, sit and capture it.
What I’ve been struggling with for the last weeks is to find the meaning. The meaning of it all. I keep ask myself Why am I here? What’s the point of it? You see the days go on – work, school, whatever, then home, and on it goes. Sometimes it feels so pointless, so hard to find a meaning to keep going.
Then I tell myself that I am on my path, I am exactly where I need to be. All I need to do is take one step at a time and not think too much about the future but be where I am and in the moment.
Still our minds are tricky and like to take us on the side, sidetrack us, and we end up wallowing in self-doubt and meaninglessness. At least that’s what happens to me.
I know I have wanted and manifested my life situation as it is right now. I don’t regret it. But it’s hard to fight the feelings as well.
Last night I watched a movie. It was set up in the future and everybody had to take doses of some liquid that eradicates emotions. Humans have discovered that the reasons for all the wars and pain in the world were feelings. So everybody would take that medication to nuke their emotions and stop feeling. The main character’s job was to find and neutralise all the “sense offenders” and burn all objects and artifacts that were kept illegal and would provoke any feelings. Like an old gramophone, a book, a sweet perfume.
But of course there was the resistance and all the people who were opposing this “regime”, the people who didn’t take the meds and were still feeling.
Feelings are in intricate part of being human. How can we be what we are without emotions? How can we call ourselves alive if we didn’t feel?
“Breath is only a clock that measures your time.”
And at the same time, feelings do make our lives harder, heavier, more intense. Wouldn’t it be better if we can just switch them off sometimes. But then again, we wouldn’t be human if we did so.
Feelings make our experiences fuller, they paint them, they give them shape and life.
Feelings are the measure of life, the symbol of and what defines life. In fairness, those who don’t feel are the psychopaths.
How can we embrace our feelings without being bogged down by them all the time? A word of advice – suppression won’t do it, neither will distraction. We do need to look into our feelings and let them run their course.
What I’ve found works for me is writing. Sometime I get anxious and I know this is because I haven’t written for a while and it’s like it’s all boiling inside of me. So I sit down, I write, put the thoughts into order and the feelings settle. They start making sense and I’m able to get the lessons out.
So my advice is if you find yourself in a frenzy of racing thoughts and uncomfortable feelings to find the outlet that helps you organise and create something with it.
It is true that some of the greatest works of art – literature, paintings, music, design – and also achievements of mankind, are a result of difficult or complex emotions.
The important is to discover a healthy creative outlet that isn’t harmful for you or anyone and use it to turn the pain into something beautiful.
You will then be transformed.
Have you found a way to handle your difficult emotions? What do you do when you’re overwhelmed with feelings? Let me know in the comments.