The Journey of Healing from Trauma

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  • How my son starting school is helping me heal trauma image
    Healing & Recovery

    How my son starting school is helping me heal trauma

    4th December 2019 /

    For the last more than three months now I’ve been through a whirlwind of a storm. I’ve never thought that my son staring school will bring so much up. More and more I realise how isolated I’ve been and how much I’ve lost contact with the outside world. More accurately, I’ve suspected that but the clash of reentering seems to be taking me much more effort and costing me much more energy than I’ve ever imagined. I know there are many reasons for this – I am and always have been a very sensitive person and being away from work for 8 years now has put me in a very…

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    Coming Full Circle Image

    Coming full circle

    16th August 2017
    Identifying Triggers Image

    Identifying triggers and breaking free from the past

    2nd May 2017

    Oh, how I miss…

    4th September 2021
  • Codependency as the origin of mommy guilt image
    Healing & Recovery

    How trauma and codependency in childhood can cause toxic mommy guilt

    6th November 2018 /

    I often question why I feel so much guilt as a mother towards my little boy. It’s not only crippling my own experience of being a mother but also sending inaccurate messages to my son which shape the way he views himself and the world. I feel stricken with guilt every time I feel the effects of my trauma. I blame myself for not being able to shake off the sadness or depression I feel, for the anger that sometimes I can’t hold or the negativity that my critical mind is keeping me a captive to. I feel shame every time I’m not at my best for letting my son down. When…

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    A Message From the Goddess Isis Image

    A message from the goddess Isis

    8th November 2016
    Learning To Trust Image

    Learning to trust: connecting to our inner wisdom

    5th May 2016
    Being Grateful for Another Year Image

    Here and now: being grateful for another year

    1st January 2017
  • The shame around being a "bad mother" Image
    Healing & Recovery

    The shame around being a “bad mother”

    2nd November 2018 /

    Sometimes I resent being a mother. That is not to say that I don’t love my child. Unlike my mother and some mothers who can’t love, I do love my son. With all my heart and soul, always and forever. I believe all mothers have moments when they resent motherhood. I believe that the contemporary expectation to be a non-stop happy and vibrant mother is not only unrealistic, it’s also severely shaming and stigmatising. It makes natural temporary feelings of dissatisfaction or unfulfillment fester into gnawing guilt. That makes me think how terribly unprepared and largely delusional so many mothers enter into motherhood, including me. I wanted my child with…

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    How my recent job rejection helped me heal and love myself image

    How my recent job rejection helped me heal and love myself

    4th February 2019

    What I learned from my physical and mental instability episode

    18th July 2018

    The importance of keeping the connection with yourself

    25th July 2021
  • Elizabeth Johnsen Interview Image
    The Empowered Women Series

    Interview with Elizabeth Johnsen: woman and mother on a path of healing and transformation

    29th January 2018 /

    In 2015 Elizabeth contacted me through my blog – she was the very first person to reach out in such a way. Quickly we felt a much deeper connection which grew into a friendship. Even though we’ve never met in person I feel we’ve known each other for lifetimes. I know Elizabeth has been through some hard times recently and it was painful to witness her journey “from afar” but nevertheless, I never stopped feeling for her. I’m happy to see and say that she has overcome the darkness. Here are Elizabeth’s own words: Tell us a little bit about your life journey. I was raised in New Zealand by…

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    Tanya Amidei Interview Image

    Interview with Tanya Amidei: Sexual abuse survivor, life coach and a spiritual writer

    28th June 2019
    Kathy Garland Interview Image

    Interview with Kathy Garland: blogger, writer and inspirational author at Kwoted

    27th June 2018
    Shyla Cash Interview Image

    Interview with Shyla Cash: Narcissistic abuse and emotional neglect survivor, and a coach at Grow Heal Change

    26th July 2019
  • Sacred Mothering Image
    Healing & Recovery

    Sacred Mothering: how to be a soulful mother on a spiritual path

    23rd November 2017 /

    For a long time I’ve lived two separate lives – a life of an unfolding spiritual journey and purpose and a life as an everyday mother, partner and housewife. The first one happens mostly within me and I get to share it here with you, my readers and online friends, but I don’t express much outwardly in my day-to-day doings. The second life happens in the hours when I’m not working on myself or writing down my discoveries and realisations – it happens when I pick up my son from kindergarten and we spend the afternoons together outside or at home. Those two lives sometimes clash with each other and…

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    Rise of the feminine post image

    The Rise of the Feminine and the next stage of my spiritual journey

    28th May 2018
    Waving Goodbye Image

    Waving goodbye to the past

    10th January 2018
    I am the person I am because of my trauma image

    I am the person I am today because of my trauma, not despite it

    19th December 2019
  • Motherhood Image
    Spirituality

    Motherhood and enjoying the present moment

    2nd October 2017 /

    For a first time in my life I feel like I’m enjoying being a mother and my relationship with my son. I was too naive and maybe somewhat young when I became a mother. We’ve only been together with my partner for an year when I got pregnant. But we said yes to it, yes to all this family-making, children-raising thing. And it was good for a while. But soon it became clear that this isn’t what I thought it would be. It soon became clear that instead of building a family, there was a wall being built between me and everything around me. And I closed down and shut…

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    Dreams of freedom and defining values

    25th September 2016
    Embracing minimalism image

    The beginning of a new journey: embracing minimalism

    28th January 2016
    Choice Is Yours Image

    The choice is yours

    7th August 2017
  • To My Dear Child Image
    Spirituality

    To my dear child

    4th September 2017 /

    I thought I was coping with my reality until I realised that I was just trying to escape from it. The key to enjoying my life is to actually embrace it, as it is. I was running away from you, thinking you were the problem. When in fact, you are the one who will hold me through the problem. Regardless of everything else, I have the greatest gift of life  – you, my child. My son – my mirror, my reflection. All my pain projected onto you. I called you many things – all projections of what I’ve been hurting from in my life and relationships. My dear child, you’re…

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    I am grateful image

    On gratitude

    20th December 2015
    Reclaiming a lost self image

    Reclaiming a lost self: an experience in my home country

    13th September 2016
    That Girl Image

    That girl – a birthday poem

    18th September 2017
  • The missing relationship with the mother image
    Healing & Recovery

    On grief: the missing relationship with the mother

    19th May 2016 /

    If you ask me how my life has been the last couple of years, I probably wouldn’t say it has been full of grief. It would be one of the first things to cross my mind but I wouldn’t say it. I would probably divert to being a mom and looking after a household, which is true but it’s only half of my world. The grief and everything it brings – I’ve put aside in the back pocket of my mind. It wasn’t until I started listening to the audiobook Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed, that I felt how much grief I still carry in me.…

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    Rise of the feminine post image

    The Rise of the Feminine and the next stage of my spiritual journey

    28th May 2018
    A Powerful Start To a New Year Image

    A powerful start to a new year

    15th January 2018
    Sacred Mothering Image

    Sacred Mothering: how to be a soulful mother on a spiritual path

    23rd November 2017
  • Year 2015 what it brought image
    Healing & Recovery

    Year 2015: what it brought to my family and what it taught me

    16th December 2015 /

    I am going to talk to my son’s teacher tomorrow. My son, Sylvian, is nearly 3 years old and he is going to a Montessori preschool. I prefer to call it just “school” and the people taking care of him there – teachers.I want to talk to her, I will call her Jackie, and give her some background information. But let me give you some information about my son first. He started at this school in late September and he’s going 5 mornings a week for 3 hours. At the beginning he was thrilled to go there. It was a new place that’s not home and is full of toys…

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    Coming Out Of The Mud Image

    Coming out from the mud and continuing onward

    16th October 2017
    Four Steps Of Transformation Image

    The four steps of personal transformation

    30th January 2017
    Self Doubt Image

    Self-doubt: get out of your head and into your heart

    14th February 2018
Vilina Christoph Profile Image

Hello & Welcome

I am Vilina Christoph and I write about my journey of healing from childhood trauma and emotional neglect. I use words to transmute the pain from the adverse experiences into fuel for growth and empowerment. I believe we have the power to heal ourselves and transform our lives from within. I am passionate about helping women heal and grow to become their authentic selves and build an abundant life.

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