Vilina Christoph

A Journey of Healing and Growth

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  • How my son starting school is helping me heal trauma image
    Trauma Healing

    How my son starting school is helping me heal trauma

    4th December 2019 /

    For the last more than three months now I’ve been through a whirlwind of a storm. I’ve never thought that my son staring school will bring so much up. More and more I realise how isolated I’ve been and how much I’ve lost contact with the outside world. More accurately, I’ve suspected that but the clash of reentering seems to be taking me much more effort and costing me much more energy than I’ve ever imagined. I know there are many reasons for this – I am and always have been a very sensitive person and being away from work for 8 years now has put me in a very…

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    Waving Goodbye Image

    Waving goodbye to the past

    10th January 2018
    Autumn and the renewal of the soul image

    Autumn and the renewal of the soul: on priorities, anxiety and social media

    11th November 2015
    The Anatomy Of Desire Image

    The anatomy of desire and manifesting

    28th September 2017
  • Codependency as the origin of mommy guilt image
    Trauma Healing

    How trauma and codependency in childhood can cause toxic mommy guilt

    6th November 2018 /

    I often question why I feel so much guilt as a mother towards my little boy. It’s not only crippling my own experience of being a mother but also sending inaccurate messages to my son which shape the way he views himself and the world. I feel stricken with guilt every time I feel the effects of my trauma. I blame myself for not being able to shake off the sadness or depression I feel, for the anger that sometimes I can’t hold or the negativity that my critical mind is keeping me a captive to. I feel shame every time I’m not at my best for letting my son down. When…

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    The Power Is Within You Image

    The power is within you

    2nd August 2017
    Waving Goodbye Image

    Waving goodbye to the past

    10th January 2018
    Finding peace in the midst of a crisis image

    Finding peace in the midst of a crisis

    1st October 2015
  • The shame around being a "bad mother" Image
    Trauma Healing

    The shame around being a “bad mother”

    2nd November 2018 /

    Sometimes I resent being a mother. That is not to say that I don’t love my child. Unlike my mother and some mothers who can’t love, I do love my son. With all my heart and soul, always and forever. I believe all mothers have moments when they resent motherhood. I believe that the contemporary expectation to be a non-stop happy and vibrant mother is not only unrealistic, it’s also severely shaming and stigmatising. It makes natural temporary feelings of dissatisfaction or unfulfillment fester into gnawing guilt. That makes me think how terribly unprepared and largely delusional so many mothers enter into motherhood, including me. I wanted my child with…

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    The importance of keeping the connection with yourself

    25th July 2021
    That Girl Image

    That girl – a birthday poem

    18th September 2017
    Look How Far You've Come Image

    Honouring how far we have come

    18th January 2017
  • Elizabeth Johnsen Interview Image
    The Empowered Women Series

    Interview with Elizabeth Johnsen: woman and mother on a path of healing and transformation

    29th January 2018 /

    In 2015 Elizabeth contacted me through my blog – she was the very first person to reach out in such a way. Quickly we felt a much deeper connection which grew into a friendship. Even though we’ve never met in person I feel we’ve known each other for lifetimes. I know Elizabeth has been through some hard times recently and it was painful to witness her journey “from afar” but nevertheless, I never stopped feeling for her. I’m happy to see and say that she has overcome the darkness. Here are Elizabeth’s own words: Tell us a little bit about your life journey. I was raised in New Zealand by…

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    Interview with Alexis Rose Image

    Interview with Alexis Rose: Author of Untangled, a story of resilience, courage, and triumph

    29th March 2017
    Tanya Amidei Interview Image

    Interview with Tanya Amidei: Sexual abuse survivor, life coach and a spiritual writer

    28th June 2019
    Kathy Garland Interview Image

    Interview with Kathy Garland: blogger, writer and inspirational author at Kwoted

    27th June 2018
  • Sacred Mothering Image
    Trauma Healing

    Sacred Mothering: how to be a soulful mother on a spiritual path

    23rd November 2017 /

    For a long time I’ve lived two separate lives – a life of an unfolding spiritual journey and purpose and a life as an everyday mother, partner and housewife. The first one happens mostly within me and I get to share it here with you, my readers and online friends, but I don’t express much outwardly in my day-to-day doings. The second life happens in the hours when I’m not working on myself or writing down my discoveries and realisations – it happens when I pick up my son from kindergarten and we spend the afternoons together outside or at home. Those two lives sometimes clash with each other and…

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    You deserve your love

    14th August 2017

    The pandemic as an opportunity to continue healing – repairing what was once ruptured

    7th July 2021
    The Hidden Gift Image

    The hidden gift in every difficulty

    6th July 2017
  • Motherhood Image
    Trauma Healing

    Motherhood and enjoying the present moment

    2nd October 2017 /

    For a first time in my life I feel like I’m enjoying being a mother and my relationship with my son. I was too naive and maybe somewhat young when I became a mother. We’ve only been together with my partner for an year when I got pregnant. But we said yes to it, yes to all this family-making, children-raising thing. And it was good for a while. But soon it became clear that this isn’t what I thought it would be. It soon became clear that instead of building a family, there was a wall being built between me and everything around me. And I closed down and shut…

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    Happy where I am

    13th September 2017
    Your Feelings Are Valid Image

    You and your feelings are valid

    24th July 2017
    My dance with astrology image

    My dance with astrology: on anger, revolutionaries and colouring

    3rd December 2015
  • To My Dear Child Image
    Trauma Healing

    To my dear child

    4th September 2017 /

    I thought I was coping with my reality until I realised that I was just trying to escape from it. The key to enjoying my life is to actually embrace it, as it is. I was running away from you, thinking you were the problem. When in fact, you are the one who will hold me through the problem. Regardless of everything else, I have the greatest gift of life  – you, my child. My son – my mirror, my reflection. All my pain projected onto you. I called you many things – all projections of what I’ve been hurting from in my life and relationships. My dear child, you’re…

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    On femininity: breathwork exercise and a mother’s message

    11th May 2017

    A breast screening and a message of trust

    6th December 2022
    Letting go of guilt image

    Letting go of guilt

    29th April 2016
  • The missing relationship with the mother image
    Trauma Healing

    On grief: the missing relationship with the mother

    19th May 2016 /

    If you ask me how my life has been the last couple of years, I probably wouldn’t say it has been full of grief. It would be one of the first things to cross my mind but I wouldn’t say it. I would probably divert to being a mom and looking after a household, which is true but it’s only half of my world. The grief and everything it brings – I’ve put aside in the back pocket of my mind. It wasn’t until I started listening to the audiobook Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed, that I felt how much grief I still carry in me.…

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    Dear Beautiful You Image

    Dear beautiful you

    9th October 2017
    "If I only could make them happy" Image

    “If I only could make them happy…”

    16th May 2019

    What I learned from my physical and mental instability episode

    18th July 2018
  • Year 2015 what it brought image
    Trauma Healing

    Year 2015: what it brought to my family and what it taught me

    16th December 2015 /

    I am going to talk to my son’s teacher tomorrow. My son, Sylvian, is nearly 3 years old and he is going to a Montessori preschool. I prefer to call it just “school” and the people taking care of him there – teachers.I want to talk to her, I will call her Jackie, and give her some background information. But let me give you some information about my son first. He started at this school in late September and he’s going 5 mornings a week for 3 hours. At the beginning he was thrilled to go there. It was a new place that’s not home and is full of toys…

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    What I learned from my physical and mental instability episode

    18th July 2018
    Crisis As A Call For Change Image

    Crisis as a call for change and how to integrate it in your life

    21st November 2015
    "If I only could make them happy" Image

    “If I only could make them happy…”

    16th May 2019
Vilina Christoph Profile Image

Hello & Welcome

I am Vilina Christoph and I write about my journey of healing from childhood trauma and emotional neglect. I use words to transmute the pain from the adverse experiences into fuel for growth and empowerment. I believe we have the ability to heal ourselves and transform our lives from within. I am passionate about helping others heal and grow to become their authentic selves and create an abundant life.

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