Vilina Christoph

A Journey of Healing and Growth

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  • A turning point in my journey image
    Trauma Healing

    A turning point on my healing journey – experiencing an emotional flashback and remembering my past

    1st March 2020 /

    A few days ago I had my most intense emotional flashback. Now, if you don’t know what is an emotional flashback or what it feels like, you’re not alone. For sure, I’ve read about them in my research on childhood trauma and Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) but I haven’t experienced one. Or at least I didn’t know at the time. An emotional flashback is an intense emotional reaction, many describe it as a sort of flooding of emotion, usually as a result of a trigger – an event, a situation, it could be something someone says, and how that makes you feel. Triggers could be many and they…

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    You Are Not Alone Image

    You’re not alone in your pain

    25th September 2017
    Working With Crystals Image

    Using crystals to access the subconscious and heal deep wounds

    28th November 2017

    Eclipse season, covid and hitting rock bottom

    17th November 2022
  • Letting go never goes out of fashion image
    Trauma Healing

    Letting go (of what no longer serves us) never goes out of fashion

    2nd January 2020 /

    New year, new me? Well, there is no need for a new me every new year if you’re OK with yourself and feel enough as you are. But certainly, there are situations, relationships, even people that need to be let go of. More accurately – it’s the type of relationships I’m having with certain people, or even more accurately – the expectations I have from them. I’m going through an “interesting” process – as I’m healing my childhood trauma more and more, I realise the triggers and traps I fall into more and more. As early childhood trauma is an attachment trauma in its essence, it’s a relational trauma too. That…

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    I am grateful image

    On gratitude

    20th December 2015
    Four Things I've Learned Image

    Four things I’ve learned from going through a crisis

    29th October 2015
    Being the gods that we are image

    Being the gods that we are

    22nd April 2016
  • Shyla Cash Interview Image
    The Empowered Women Series

    Interview with Shyla Cash: Narcissistic abuse and emotional neglect survivor, and a coach at Grow Heal Change

    26th July 2019 /

    Shyla Cash is the life coach behind Grow Heal Change Coaching, a coaching practice that helps high-performers and creatives heal mind, body, and spirit. She believes childhood trauma can be a portal to experiencing our full potential. Shyla loves to witness the process of transformation as she guides her clients through the amazing journey into the life they desire. Her own trauma history involved a childhood filled with narcissistic abuse and emotional neglect. Through her own healing, she discovered the amazing ability for humans to transcend the pain of family dysfunction into confidence, personal power, resilience, and responsibility. Shyla just got married to her amazing husband Nathan, she loves to…

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    Jonelle du Pont Interview Image

    Interview with Jonelle du Pont: blogger and writer at Tyranny of Pink

    26th July 2017
    Tanya Amidei Interview Image

    Interview with Tanya Amidei: Sexual abuse survivor, life coach and a spiritual writer

    28th June 2019
    Kathy Garland Interview Image

    Interview with Kathy Garland: blogger, writer and inspirational author at Kwoted

    27th June 2018
  • Childhood Emotional Neglect Image
    Trauma Healing

    Childhood emotional neglect – the hidden root of my pain

    18th July 2019 /

    I just had my second EMDR therapy session. In EMDR we focus on a particular memory from our life – usually a traumatic one. I was working with an image of me when I was a child and my mother who was particularly unresponsive to my needs. Just to remind you, at the beginning of therapy my therapist confirmed that I was emotionally deprived/neglected as a child. Since then I read the book Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect by Dr Jonice Webb which further helped me understand my “diagnosis”. The book very well explains what emotional neglect is – it’s not about what happened but about what…

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    Year 2015 what it brought image

    Year 2015: what it brought to my family and what it taught me

    16th December 2015
    How childhood trauma robs away your power image

    How childhood trauma robs your power away and how to take it back

    15th November 2018
    Thoughts on Self Love Image

    Thoughts on self-love

    27th October 2016
  • My Pain is My Power Image
    Trauma Healing

    My Pain is My Power

    17th June 2019 /

    Two weeks ago I started seeing a therapist. During the two times we met, we talked and went over the details of my past. We started with memories from my childhood and moved towards the more recent past. We made a plan – a timeline of particularly traumatic experiences and we’re going to work with each memory and event separately. I haven’t had the opportunity to talk freely about my past and everything that has happened so far. I had a brief experience of therapy back in Ireland right after my sister died but at the time, I had no idea of the magnitude of traumatic stress I was experiencing.…

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    Setting Free From Past Image

    Setting ourselves free from the pain of the past

    20th June 2018
    Rewriting My Story Image

    Rewriting my story in a radical self-forgiveness context

    25th May 2016
    Reclaiming our wholeness image

    Reclaiming our wholeness

    17th March 2016
  • The Wonder List June Image
    The Wonder List

    The Wonder List: Goal, Gratitude, Inspiration & Affirmation for the Month of June

    5th June 2019 /

    “Every day may not be a good day, but there is something good in every day.” ~ unknown  &   “People say ‘find the good one and leave the bad ones’. But I say ‘find good in people and ignore the bad in them’ because no one is perfect.” ~ unknown   Hey Beautiful! It’s the month of June and we’re heading into summer with full speed. Personally, the last two weeks were emotional. My son and I had an unpleasant experience in his kindergarten and, if you’ve followed me for a while, you’ll know it’s not the first time. Things reached a culmination point and Tuesday last week was his…

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    The Wonder List March Image

    The Wonder List: Goal, Gratitude, Inspiration & Affirmation for the Month of March

    4th March 2019
    The Wonder List May Image

    The Wonder List: Goal, Gratitude, Inspiration & Affirmation for the Month of May

    6th May 2019
    The Wonder List April Image

    The Wonder List: Goal, Gratitude, Inspiration & Affirmation for the Month of April

    3rd April 2019
  • "If I only could make them happy" Image
    Trauma Healing

    “If I only could make them happy…”

    16th May 2019 /

    My inner journey of healing and discovery is reaching a turning point. For the past 5 years, I’ve been digging and going deeper and more inward like it was my job. And it was my full-time job – I’ve taken this task of nurturing self-understanding and awareness so seriously, it became my primary focus and priority. Layer by layer, I’ve been stripping old programmes, paradigms, and conditioning. I was determined to get to the core of things, to the root of all pain and ailments, emotional and psychological. Last year in September, I stumbled upon one piece of the puzzle – my mother had suffered from a mental condition and…

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    Childhood Emotional Neglect Image

    Childhood emotional neglect – the hidden root of my pain

    18th July 2019
    Setting Free From Past Image

    Setting ourselves free from the pain of the past

    20th June 2018
    Reclaiming our wholeness image

    Reclaiming our wholeness

    17th March 2016
  • Codependency as the origin of mommy guilt image
    Trauma Healing

    How trauma and codependency in childhood can cause toxic mommy guilt

    6th November 2018 /

    I often question why I feel so much guilt as a mother towards my little boy. It’s not only crippling my own experience of being a mother but also sending inaccurate messages to my son which shape the way he views himself and the world. I feel stricken with guilt every time I feel the effects of my trauma. I blame myself for not being able to shake off the sadness or depression I feel, for the anger that sometimes I can’t hold or the negativity that my critical mind is keeping me a captive to. I feel shame every time I’m not at my best for letting my son down. When…

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    Reclaiming a lost self image

    Reclaiming a lost self: an experience in my home country

    13th September 2016
    Setting Free From Past Image

    Setting ourselves free from the pain of the past

    20th June 2018
    Four Steps Of Transformation Image

    The four steps of personal transformation

    30th January 2017
  • The shame around being a "bad mother" Image
    Trauma Healing

    The shame around being a “bad mother”

    2nd November 2018 /

    Sometimes I resent being a mother. That is not to say that I don’t love my child. Unlike my mother and some mothers who can’t love, I do love my son. With all my heart and soul, always and forever. I believe all mothers have moments when they resent motherhood. I believe that the contemporary expectation to be a non-stop happy and vibrant mother is not only unrealistic, it’s also severely shaming and stigmatising. It makes natural temporary feelings of dissatisfaction or unfulfillment fester into gnawing guilt. That makes me think how terribly unprepared and largely delusional so many mothers enter into motherhood, including me. I wanted my child with…

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    Follow Your Feelings Image

    Follow your feelings

    11th September 2017
    Finding Your Authentic Blend Image

    Finding your authentic blend of expression

    13th June 2018

    The year 2023 – Finding Safety Within and Reaching the Surface

    5th January 2024
  • The missing relationship with the mother image
    Trauma Healing

    On grief: the missing relationship with the mother

    19th May 2016 /

    If you ask me how my life has been the last couple of years, I probably wouldn’t say it has been full of grief. It would be one of the first things to cross my mind but I wouldn’t say it. I would probably divert to being a mom and looking after a household, which is true but it’s only half of my world. The grief and everything it brings – I’ve put aside in the back pocket of my mind. It wasn’t until I started listening to the audiobook Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed, that I felt how much grief I still carry in me.…

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    Reclaiming our wholeness image

    Reclaiming our wholeness

    17th March 2016

    What I learned from my physical and mental instability episode

    18th July 2018
    How childhood trauma robs away your power image

    How childhood trauma robs your power away and how to take it back

    15th November 2018
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Vilina Christoph Profile Image

Hello & Welcome

I am Vilina Christoph and I write about my journey of healing from childhood trauma and emotional neglect. I use words to transmute the pain from the adverse experiences into fuel for growth and empowerment. I believe we have the ability to heal ourselves and transform our lives from within. I am passionate about helping others heal and grow to become their authentic selves and create an abundant life.

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