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VILINA CHRISTOPH

A Woman's Story of Healing & Empowerment

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  • A turning point in my journey image
    Trauma & Healing

    A turning point on my healing journey – experiencing an emotional flashback and remembering my past

    A few days ago I had my most intense emotional flashback. Now, if you don’t know what is an emotional flashback or what it feels like, you’re not alone. For sure, I’ve read about them in my research on childhood trauma and Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) but I haven’t experienced one. Or at least I didn’t know at the time. An emotional flashback is an intense emotional reaction, many describe it as a sort of flooding of emotion, usually as a result of a trigger – an event, a situation, it could be something someone says, and how that makes you feel. Triggers could be many and they…

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    Taking the first steps

    6th February 2016
    Thoughts on Self Love Image

    Thoughts on self-love

    27th October 2016
    On Femininity Image

    On femininity: breathwork exercise and a mother’s message

    11th May 2017
  • Letting go never goes out of fashion image
    Trauma & Healing

    Letting go (of what no longer serves us) never goes out of fashion

    New year, new me? Well, there is no need for a new me every new year if you’re OK with yourself and feel enough as you are. But certainly, there are situations, relationships, even people that need to be let go of. More accurately – it’s the type of relationships I’m having with certain people, or even more accurately – the expectations I have from them. I’m going through an “interesting” process – as I’m healing my childhood trauma more and more, I realise the triggers and traps I fall into more and more. As early childhood trauma is an attachment trauma in its essence, it’s a relational trauma too. That…

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    Learning To Trust Image

    Learning to trust: connecting to our inner wisdom

    5th May 2016
    My Pain is My Power Image

    My Pain is My Power

    17th June 2019
    A hopeful start and a pat on the back image

    A hopeful start and a pat on the back

    17th January 2016
  • Shyla Cash Interview Image
    The Empowered Women Series

    Interview with Shyla Cash: Narcissistic abuse and emotional neglect survivor, and a coach at Grow Heal Change

    Shyla Cash is the life coach behind Grow Heal Change Coaching, a coaching practice that helps high-performers and creatives heal mind, body, and spirit. She believes childhood trauma can be a portal to experiencing our full potential. Shyla loves to witness the process of transformation as she guides her clients through the amazing journey into the life they desire. Her own trauma history involved a childhood filled with narcissistic abuse and emotional neglect. Through her own healing, she discovered the amazing ability for humans to transcend the pain of family dysfunction into confidence, personal power, resilience, and responsibility. Shyla just got married to her amazing husband Nathan, she loves to…

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    New Beginnings 2.0 Image

    New Beginnings 2.0

    19th December 2016
    My Pain is My Power Image

    My Pain is My Power

    17th June 2019
    Letting go never goes out of fashion image

    Letting go (of what no longer serves us) never goes out of fashion

    2nd January 2020
  • Childhood Emotional Neglect Image
    Trauma & Healing

    Childhood emotional neglect – the hidden root of my pain

    I just had my second EMDR therapy session. In EMDR we focus on a particular memory from our life – usually a traumatic one. I was working with an image of me when I was a child and my mother who was particularly unresponsive to my needs. Just to remind you, at the beginning of therapy my therapist confirmed that I was emotionally deprived/neglected as a child. Since then I read the book Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect by Dr Jonice Webb which further helped me understand my “diagnosis”. The book very well explains what emotional neglect is – it’s not about what happened but about what…

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    A new breath of life image

    A new breath of life

    21st January 2016
    Web Wonderland No.2 Image

    Web Wonderland No.2: How to clear past life trauma, create freedom in your life, and put your money into what makes you happy

    12th February 2017
    The Wonder List June Image

    The Wonder List: Goal, Gratitude, Inspiration & Affirmation for the Month of June

    5th June 2019
  • My Pain is My Power Image
    Trauma & Healing

    My Pain is My Power

    Two weeks ago I started seeing a therapist. During the two times we met, we talked and went over the details of my past. We started with memories from my childhood and moved towards the more recent past. We made a plan – a timeline of particularly traumatic experiences and we’re going to work with each memory and event separately. I haven’t had the opportunity to talk freely about my past and everything that has happened so far. I had a brief experience of therapy back in Ireland right after my sister died but at the time, I had no idea of the magnitude of traumatic stress I was experiencing.…

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    Reclaiming a lost self image

    Reclaiming a lost self: an experience in my home country

    13th September 2016
    The Wonder List May Image

    The Wonder List: Goal, Gratitude, Inspiration & Affirmation for the Month of May

    6th May 2019
    Choice Is Yours Image

    The choice is yours

    7th August 2017
  • The Wonder List June Image
    The Wonder List

    The Wonder List: Goal, Gratitude, Inspiration & Affirmation for the Month of June

    “Every day may not be a good day, but there is something good in every day.” ~ unknown  &   “People say ‘find the good one and leave the bad ones’. But I say ‘find good in people and ignore the bad in them’ because no one is perfect.” ~ unknown   Hey Beautiful! It’s the month of June and we’re heading into summer with full speed. Personally, the last two weeks were emotional. My son and I had an unpleasant experience in his kindergarten and, if you’ve followed me for a while, you’ll know it’s not the first time. Things reached a culmination point and Tuesday last week was his…

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    Shyla Cash Interview Image

    Interview with Shyla Cash: Narcissistic abuse and emotional neglect survivor, and a coach at Grow Heal Change

    26th July 2019
    "If I only could make them happy" Image

    “If I only could make them happy…”

    16th May 2019
    Follow Your Feelings Image

    Follow your feelings

    11th September 2017
  • "If I only could make them happy" Image
    Trauma & Healing

    “If I only could make them happy…”

    My inner journey of healing and discovery is reaching a turning point. For the past 5 years, I’ve been digging and going deeper and more inward like it was my job. And it was my full-time job – I’ve taken this task of nurturing self-understanding and awareness so seriously, it became my primary focus and priority. Layer by layer, I’ve been stripping old programmes, paradigms, and conditioning. I was determined to get to the core of things, to the root of all pain and ailments, emotional and psychological. Last year in September, I stumbled upon one piece of the puzzle – my mother had suffered from a mental condition and…

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    Saying Thanks image

    Saying Thanks

    31st December 2015
    September astrology vibes and dives image

    September astrology vibes and dives

    14th September 2016
    Embracing minimalism image

    The beginning of a new journey: embracing minimalism

    28th January 2016
  • Codependency as the origin of mommy guilt image
    Trauma & Healing

    How trauma and codependency in childhood can cause toxic mommy guilt

    I often question why I feel so much guilt as a mother towards my little boy. It’s not only crippling my own experience of being a mother but also sending inaccurate messages to my son which shape the way he views himself and the world. I feel stricken with guilt every time I feel the effects of my trauma. I blame myself for not being able to shake off the sadness or depression I feel, for the anger that sometimes I can’t hold or the negativity that my critical mind is keeping me a captive to. I feel shame every time I’m not at my best for letting my son down. When…

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    Reclaiming our wholeness image

    Reclaiming our wholeness

    17th March 2016
    Forgiveness Letter Image

    Forgiveness letter to myself

    11th April 2017
    Remembering what matters image

    Remembering what matters: on being social, school troubles and birthdays

    18th February 2016
  • The shame around being a "bad mother" Image
    Trauma & Healing

    The shame around being a “bad mother”

    Sometimes I resent being a mother. That is not to say that I don’t love my child. Unlike my mother and some mothers who can’t love, I do love my son. With all my heart and soul, always and forever. I believe all mothers have moments when they resent motherhood. I believe that the contemporary expectation to be a non-stop happy and vibrant mother is not only unrealistic, it’s also severely shaming and stigmatising. It makes natural temporary feelings of dissatisfaction or unfulfillment fester into gnawing guilt. That makes me think how terribly unprepared and largely delusional so many mothers enter into motherhood, including me. I wanted my child with…

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    Kathy Garland Interview Image

    Interview with Kathy Garland: blogger, writer and inspirational author at Kwoted

    27th June 2018
    Letting go of guilt image

    Letting go of guilt

    29th April 2016
    Four Things I've Learned Image

    Four things I’ve learned from going through a crisis

    29th October 2015
  • The missing relationship with the mother image
    Trauma & Healing

    On grief: the missing relationship with the mother

    If you ask me how my life has been the last couple of years, I probably wouldn’t say it has been full of grief. It would be one of the first things to cross my mind but I wouldn’t say it. I would probably divert to being a mom and looking after a household, which is true but it’s only half of my world. The grief and everything it brings – I’ve put aside in the back pocket of my mind. It wasn’t until I started listening to the audiobook Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed, that I felt how much grief I still carry in me.…

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    Heal yourself, heal the world

    27th March 2018

    What I learned from my physical and mental instability episode

    18th July 2018
    Choice Is Yours Image

    The choice is yours

    7th August 2017
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Vilina Christoph Headshot Image

Hello & Welcome

I am Vilina Christoph and I write about my journey of healing and recovery from childhood trauma and abuse. I use words to transmute the pain and adversity into fuel for growth and empowerment. I believe we have the power to heal ourselves and transform our lives from within. I am passionate about helping women heal, grow and feel empowered to build and live a full authentic life.

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  • Spirituality
  • The Empowered Women Series
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  • Web Wonderland
© 2015-2020 Vilina Christoph