The Journey of Healing from Trauma

A woman's story of realising our strength is within us, connecting to our inner resource and taking responsibility of one's own happiness

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  • A turning point in my journey image
    Trauma Healing

    A turning point on my healing journey – experiencing an emotional flashback and remembering my past

    1st March 2020 /

    A few days ago I had my most intense emotional flashback. Now, if you don’t know what is an emotional flashback or what it feels like, you’re not alone. For sure, I’ve read about them in my research on childhood trauma and Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) but I haven’t experienced one. Or at least I didn’t know at the time. An emotional flashback is an intense emotional reaction, many describe it as a sort of flooding of emotion, usually as a result of a trigger – an event, a situation, it could be something someone says, and how that makes you feel. Triggers could be many and they…

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    Past Life Explorations Image

    Past life explorations

    3rd June 2016
    Quiet Confidence Image

    Quiet confidence: living in alignment with what our souls desire

    2nd March 2017
    Working With The Inner Child Image

    Working with the inner child: unleashing unconditional self-love

    23rd March 2017
  • I am the person I am because of my trauma image
    Trauma Healing

    I am the person I am today because of my trauma, not despite it

    19th December 2019 /

    My biggest battle is accepting my childhood trauma and the effects it has had and continues to have on my life and its overall quality. More accurately, I struggle the most with accepting that because of my posttraumatic stress responses, my role as a mother has been impaired. As a victim of childhood abuse and trauma, I am especially sensitive towards the fact that because of my own “condition” my child is suffering too.  I can easily go down the spiral of blaming myself for not being the mother I wish I could be, for the things I have done or haven’t done because I wasn’t well myself. Because I am…

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    Forgiveness Letter Image

    Forgiveness letter to myself

    11th April 2017
    A Message From the Goddess Isis Image

    A message from the goddess Isis

    8th November 2016
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    My dance with astrology: on anger, revolutionaries and colouring

    3rd December 2015
  • Childhood Emotional Neglect Image
    Trauma Healing

    Childhood emotional neglect – the hidden root of my pain

    18th July 2019 /

    I just had my second EMDR therapy session. In EMDR we focus on a particular memory from our life – usually a traumatic one. I was working with an image of me when I was a child and my mother who was particularly unresponsive to my needs. Just to remind you, at the beginning of therapy my therapist confirmed that I was emotionally deprived/neglected as a child. Since then I read the book Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect by Dr Jonice Webb which further helped me understand my “diagnosis”. The book very well explains what emotional neglect is – it’s not about what happened but about what…

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    Forgiveness Letter Image

    Forgiveness letter to myself

    11th April 2017
    Cutting Through Clouds and Fear Image

    Cutting through clouds and fear

    17th October 2016
    I am grateful image

    On gratitude

    20th December 2015
  • The Wonder List June Image
    The Wonder List

    The Wonder List: Goal, Gratitude, Inspiration & Affirmation for the Month of June

    5th June 2019 /

    “Every day may not be a good day, but there is something good in every day.” ~ unknown  &   “People say ‘find the good one and leave the bad ones’. But I say ‘find good in people and ignore the bad in them’ because no one is perfect.” ~ unknown   Hey Beautiful! It’s the month of June and we’re heading into summer with full speed. Personally, the last two weeks were emotional. My son and I had an unpleasant experience in his kindergarten and, if you’ve followed me for a while, you’ll know it’s not the first time. Things reached a culmination point and Tuesday last week was his…

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    The Wonder List April Image

    The Wonder List: Goal, Gratitude, Inspiration & Affirmation for the Month of April

    3rd April 2019
    The Wonder List March Image

    The Wonder List: Goal, Gratitude, Inspiration & Affirmation for the Month of March

    4th March 2019
    The Wonder List May Image

    The Wonder List: Goal, Gratitude, Inspiration & Affirmation for the Month of May

    6th May 2019
  • "If I only could make them happy" Image
    Trauma Healing

    “If I only could make them happy…”

    16th May 2019 /

    My inner journey of healing and discovery is reaching a turning point. For the past 5 years, I’ve been digging and going deeper and more inward like it was my job. And it was my full-time job – I’ve taken this task of nurturing self-understanding and awareness so seriously, it became my primary focus and priority. Layer by layer, I’ve been stripping old programmes, paradigms, and conditioning. I was determined to get to the core of things, to the root of all pain and ailments, emotional and psychological. Last year in September, I stumbled upon one piece of the puzzle – my mother had suffered from a mental condition and…

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    Working With The Inner Child Image

    Working with the inner child: unleashing unconditional self-love

    23rd March 2017
    Why Holding Space is so Important Image

    Why holding space is so important in relationships

    11th October 2016
    An unexpected healing experience during the holiday season image

    An unexpected healing experience during the holiday season

    31st December 2018
  • The Wonder List May Image
    The Wonder List

    The Wonder List: Goal, Gratitude, Inspiration & Affirmation for the Month of May

    6th May 2019 /

    “The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.” ~ Morrie Schwartz   Hey everyone! I can’t believe it’s already May and the spring is in full swing! In Bulgaria, this is one of the months with the most holidays and days off. I’m just back from some travelling in the country and some much needed reconnecting with nature. I spent a few days at my father’s house and if you’ve been following my posts, you know we have a “story” with him. Every time I visit, there is some unfolding and clarity gained and this time was no different.…

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    The Wonder List April Image

    The Wonder List: Goal, Gratitude, Inspiration & Affirmation for the Month of April

    3rd April 2019
    The Wonder List June Image

    The Wonder List: Goal, Gratitude, Inspiration & Affirmation for the Month of June

    5th June 2019
    The Wonder List March Image

    The Wonder List: Goal, Gratitude, Inspiration & Affirmation for the Month of March

    4th March 2019
  • Codependency as the origin of mommy guilt image
    Trauma Healing

    How trauma and codependency in childhood can cause toxic mommy guilt

    6th November 2018 /

    I often question why I feel so much guilt as a mother towards my little boy. It’s not only crippling my own experience of being a mother but also sending inaccurate messages to my son which shape the way he views himself and the world. I feel stricken with guilt every time I feel the effects of my trauma. I blame myself for not being able to shake off the sadness or depression I feel, for the anger that sometimes I can’t hold or the negativity that my critical mind is keeping me a captive to. I feel shame every time I’m not at my best for letting my son down. When…

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    Heal Yourself Image

    Heal yourself, heal the world

    27th March 2018
    Saying Thanks image

    Saying Thanks

    31st December 2015
    New Beginnings 2.0 Image

    New Beginnings 2.0

    19th December 2016
  • The shame around being a "bad mother" Image
    Trauma Healing

    The shame around being a “bad mother”

    2nd November 2018 /

    Sometimes I resent being a mother. That is not to say that I don’t love my child. Unlike my mother and some mothers who can’t love, I do love my son. With all my heart and soul, always and forever. I believe all mothers have moments when they resent motherhood. I believe that the contemporary expectation to be a non-stop happy and vibrant mother is not only unrealistic, it’s also severely shaming and stigmatising. It makes natural temporary feelings of dissatisfaction or unfulfillment fester into gnawing guilt. That makes me think how terribly unprepared and largely delusional so many mothers enter into motherhood, including me. I wanted my child with…

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    I am grateful image

    On gratitude

    20th December 2015
    A Solo Adventure Image

    A solo adventure and a glance into a past life

    27th April 2017
    Self Doubt Image

    Self-doubt: get out of your head and into your heart

    14th February 2018
  • Turn of Seasons and New Horizons Image
    Trauma Healing

    Turning seasons and the possibility of new horizons

    27th September 2018 /

    Weather in Bulgaria has turned and it’s been really chilly for the last couple of days – we woke up to a 1°C/33°F morning in Sofia. It will be getting slightly warmer next week but, even so, autumn is upon us. I just flipped the calendar into October (although there’s a few more days) because I usually remember to do it when we’re well into the new month so I used this rare opportunity of remembering in advance. Doing this I flashbacked to when I first put the calendar up on the wall early in January. And here we are, just a few more days and we will be in…

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    On the Brink of Dawn Image

    On the brink of dawn

    4th January 2018
    New Beginnings 2.0 Image

    New Beginnings 2.0

    19th December 2016
    Self Doubt Image

    Self-doubt: get out of your head and into your heart

    14th February 2018
  • The missing relationship with the mother image
    Trauma Healing

    On grief: the missing relationship with the mother

    19th May 2016 /

    If you ask me how my life has been the last couple of years, I probably wouldn’t say it has been full of grief. It would be one of the first things to cross my mind but I wouldn’t say it. I would probably divert to being a mom and looking after a household, which is true but it’s only half of my world. The grief and everything it brings – I’ve put aside in the back pocket of my mind. It wasn’t until I started listening to the audiobook Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed, that I felt how much grief I still carry in me.…

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    A Solo Adventure Image

    A solo adventure and a glance into a past life

    27th April 2017
    Self Doubt Image

    Self-doubt: get out of your head and into your heart

    14th February 2018
    Accepting Our Shadow Image

    Accepting our shadow as a way back to wholeness

    6th June 2018
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Vilina Christoph Profile Image

Hello & Welcome

I am Vilina Christoph and I write about my journey of healing from childhood trauma and emotional neglect. I use words to transmute the pain from the adverse experiences into fuel for growth and empowerment. I believe we have the power to heal ourselves and transform our lives from within. I am passionate about helping women heal and grow to become their authentic selves and build an abundant life.

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