Since I’ve already touched upon the subject of astrology in my previous post, I’ll confess that while in Bulgaria I went to see a professional astrologer. It was my first time ever doing this and a third time ever spending money on something like it – I’ve seen a regression therapist and clairvoyant once.
She was a lovely lady – very emotional, expressive, loud and real. That’s why I love these people – because they’re real with no inhibitions whatsoever. It went to the extend of even being dramatic and quite funny – I laughed with my heart open while she was “giving out” to me for having to plan and analyze everything so much.
She almost even screamed (in a friendly tone of course) to me to WRITE!. Ordered me not to distract myself with anything else but write. All I could say was a humble Thank you, and she laughed in her turn.
There were also other insightful bits like upcoming travels, relationship upheavals, and some very illuminating facts about my son and his trait of hating being told what to do and using his strong temper to control and manipulate the situation.
But the thing I came out with after this meeting was the feeling of being given a permission, a permission to pursue my interest and hobby to write.
Now I feel like I can give myself the time and make writing “my thing”. I can also request the time from others, let them know it’s important for me and it’s a priority. It’s not optional if I can get the time, now I make the time for it.
From now I want to structure my life, my days and my relationships with family in a way I don’t compromise with my writing. I am committed and vowing to it.
I will write what needs to come through me.
I want to be an open channel and a vessel – I have the gift and now I need to be serious about it in a way I don’t just mess around and spend my time in distraction.
And this brings me to the whole new concept of my life ahead. It’s a rather big and unshaped vision but I get a sense about it. I get the unmistakable feeling inside of what life might look like in the near future. And the astrology reading and reports are backing up this visionary feeling – things might turn out the way I want them!
All I need to do is make it happen. Which means to want it strongly and commit to it deeply. Set a goal, pursue a passion, follow a vision.
I’m open and receiving and I’ll know when the time is right to make the next step and I’ll know what the next step will be when that is cleared to me.
No more rushing, no more forcing things into happening, no control.
And to update you on our current living situation, you may know we’ve sold the house where we lived for the last 4-5 years. The deal is going through and the real estate people are waiting for the last few bits for the deal to be closed. We don’t have an exact closing date but we know it’s imminent.
And the bit that you may find shocking is that we still haven’t found a new place to live and we haven’t packed a single bag. But as it turns out we don’t know yet what our next step is because there’s quite a good few possibilities. But still, things are concealed, it’s like something needs to happen, something else we can’t yet foresee. It’s right there, just about to catch a glimpse of it, but it’s still in the making. This very next step that will determine our next step.
Trust and faith are essential right now, this is the lesson.
As the astrologer said to me, I need to learn to stop thinking, re-thinking and over-analyzing every step, every detail. I need to stop looking for an answer to every question I have and be concerned with how, when, what, etc. There’s an internal conflict within me and it won’t settle until I learn to let go of outcomes and having every step figured out in advance.
And I feel fine. I know we need to move and I know we will.
And the effects on me and my close people are already glaring positive.
Have you ever realised that what you waited for was a permission? Are you willing to let yourself become a channel of what needs to come through you? Do you suspect what that might be?
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Here are some colourful images from our travels in beautiful Bulgaria.
Photography by Lewmu