What is freedom for you? Can you answer with one word, perhaps you need one sentence? And what do you dream of? Do you know? Do you need more than a sentence to describe your dream?
I understand – we often don’t know what we’re dreaming of or perhaps, all the more, we’re not daring into thinking what our dream really is.
And sometimes it takes quite a long time to realise it…
I’m one of the people who until now didn’t understand what they really long for. I knew I was longing for something, something else than what I was experiencing. But I think I may have been too scared to question myself – afraid that I will be judged, misunderstood, even rejected if I found out this dream was unacceptable by others.
I know I’ve been afraid. And I know I’ve been confused. It’s like sensing something’s not quite right with the picture but having no clue why, and even feeling different but in a bad, condemning way.
And can you imagine the conflict this creates inside of you? Denying an essential part of yourself and never venturing into understanding yourself better, and accepting yourself for who you truly are.
It’s a major split in your psyche. And it’s hard to live carrying this heavy load.
I’m not going to go into the why this might happen to somebody but some of the possible answers have to do with societal norms, generational differences, parental influences, etc.
But I’m starting to understand myself better. And interestingly I’m starting to better know what I DON’T want for myself. Which inevitably helps me to get in touch with what I really appreciate and slowly recognise my values. And for myself I know I’ve always been uncertain about those values and their meaning.
Today I move into situations where I can clearly notice what life I don’t fancy and what ways of spending my time I don’t cherish. And I don’t judge anyone for their choices because we’re all free to make our own decisions about life. I simply use life examples as a backdrop to what I truly crave. I see them as the negative of an old-fashioned photography film and the small contrasting spots of light are what I long for.
And the miracle here is that the inner conflict is being gently healed. By accepting every part of ourselves – understanding it and owning it – we experience a huge emotional release and the holes in our psyches start to mend.
And this is indeed the most difficult part of our journeys because too often we are unaware of what’s happening with us on deep psychological level. And often difficult, if not even traumatic, life events trigger the start of this process.
But inevitably this is all for our own soul’s evolution and our expansion as fully actualised human beings.
So I’m finally starting to see more clearly into my wishes, longings and dreams. And I feel more certain and confident about pursuing them. I believe this is a giant step forward and half of the journey made because often the conception phase takes longer than the execution phase.
All that needs to be done now is just build my life around my freshly recognised values – freedom of time, freedom of movement, life not ruled by possessions and financial burden, experiences over possessions, contact with nature, learning life skills, aligning with my own unique gifts, creative expression, having enough, leaving no impact.
So far so good.
P.S. I was inspired to write this post after reading this article.
Are you clear on your dreams and values? Do you know what you really want, what really makes you happy? Let me know in the comments.